Mourinho’s birthday present and Sevilla’s motivational video

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Whilst Mrs Mourinho may have bought The Special One a brand new grey overcoat to brood into for The Special One’s 48th birthday on Wednesday, his club president got something extra yummy for José as a gift - Jorge Valdano’s head planted on the pole of the kid’s swing ball set. That, and a brand new striker.

Having pleaded and pleaded for six months until his whining become unbearable, Florentino Pérez caved into José Mourinho’s demands and signed Emmanuel Adebayor on loan until the end of June to add to Real Madrid’s growing collection of Francophone sourpusses.

The deal, which will still cost Madrid around €10 million in wages according to Marca, gives Mourinho one less thing to complain about aside from ill-treatment by referees, ill-treatment by the Spanish FA, ill-treatment by UEFA, ill-treatment by the press, ill-treatment by his fellow managers and ill-treatment by his hairdresser who appears to have made Mourinho’s bonce all with the bouffant at the moment.

The Spanish press have responded to the news of the loan deal that broke on Tuesday night by poking a stick into the Togo forward’s life and wiggling it about to find out if the former Arsenal man really is as unmanageable and sullen as the word on the street says. “He does like to feel important in a group, he needs to feel loved,” admitted Manchester City defender, Javi Garrido, on Spanish radio station, Cadena Ser.

Marca’s editorial on Wednesday is a fairly cautious one noting that “the risk Real Madrid is taking is practically zero. No-one loses by bringing in a footballer who has always been on the agenda of the big teams."

AS are equally as hesitant with the paper’s editor opining that “he’s a good player, although his profile could contribute further to the turbulent spell the club is going through.”

That turbulent spell - or successful spell, depending on how a good cup run is viewed - continues at the Sánchez Pizjuán on Wednesday with Madrid’s Copa del Rey semi-final first leg against Sevilla. Naturally, the fascinating football aspect of the game has been inspected and swiftly tossed aside by the Spanish sports press in favour of the usual complete nonsense dominating the headlines. 

For this particular clash the dominating theme is Sevilla’s apparently provocative act in releasing a motivational video entitled “Do you want another Copa?” which features some of their players covering themselves in paint - although it looks like they’ve gone nuts with some birthday cake - going ‘grr!’ and ‘arrg!’. There’s also a message in Portuguese claiming that Sevilla are going to leave Madrid without the title. Heady stuff, indeed.

The correct response from the Madridista press would have been to pat Sevilla on the head and note that these are the kind of hi-jinks from sides whose supporters hate them or know they are going to lose. Or both as in Sevilla’s case, a team who have contrived to be beaten by all manner of teams such as Getafe, Mallorca and Almería in their stadium, this season.

But in the need to stir up some kind of story, Marca and AS went ballistic claiming that the video could cause crowd problems. “The match doesn’t need any more spicing up with tricks and dangerous intentions,” scorned Tuesday’s editorial, which frets that Sevilla supporters could “confuse rivalry with an incitation to violence.”

Sevilla’s shy and retiring president, José María del Nido, was initially on the back foot in reacting to the faux storm of protest in Capital City by claiming that “we are not planning any type of non-sporting battle against Mourinho or Cristiano,” despite the main message being in Portuguese. However, the club’s godfather returned to his normal bubbly self a day later by saying that he would be paying the “genius” maker of the video extra money.

To date, José Mourinho has been unable to respond to the taunts made in his native language as quite rightly he was not allowed near a microphone at the pre-match press conference on Tuesday with his assistant Karanka fielding questions on the present location of his boss.

Not that you’d notice it really but Barcelona are also in action on Wednesday night with their Copa del Rey semi-final first leg date with Almería at the Camp Nou. Ever since Joan Laporta left the club to continue his ongoing mission to become King of Cataluyna, Barça have become insufferably dull off the pitch with only Pep’s non-contract extension signing of vague interest to LLL.

Not even the complaint in the Barça press over Leo Messi being fined €2,000 for wishing his mother a happy birthday through the medium of his t-shirt against Racing Santander, gets LLL’s juices flowing as the blog feels the little Mummy’s boy suck-up deserves every penny of the penalty.

Pep Guardiola is trying to make everyone believe that the opener to the two-legged tie isn’t going to be a massacre - which it probably is - and says that the 8-0 result of the recent win in Almería is “unrepeatable.”

The Dream Boys boss also got rather uppity at the question over whether the team seem to be slacking off during games from time to time. “People say sometimes we play at half speed. That’s cr*p. We ran like animals to beat Racing.”

LLL senses that running no harder that a wheezy rodent will be required for Barça overcome their latest opponents on Wednesday night.