FFT.com rounds up the brilliance and buffoonery from the world of football. EnjoyÃ¢ÂÂ¦
Right, who wants to see a free-kick bounce off the post and smack into a helpless goalkeeper's face?
If you don't, you're in the wrong blog. If you do, watch Central Coast Mariners gloveman Danny Vukovic unwittingly use his fizzog (opens in new tab) to deny Adelaide's Lucas Pantelis.
FiorentinaÃ¢ÂÂs keeper Sebastien Frey wonÃ¢ÂÂt want to watch replays of him allowing Luigi VitaleÃ¢ÂÂs left wing cross to sneak in at his near post, but you can right here (opens in new tab). His howler allowed Napoli to equalise but Frey was grateful to Riccardo Montolivo for nabbing a winner for Fiorentina 10 minutes from time.
Pity poor Cesar Sanchez (opens in new tab). Having spent much of the season with his gloves unsullied under the Spurs (opens in new tab) bench as Heurelho Gomes (opens in new tab) kept us all entertained, he fled back to Spain to help out Valencia (opens in new tab) when their first-choice No.1 Renan (opens in new tab) got injured.
So imagine his delight when gaffer Unai Emery instead gave a debut to 21-year-old Vicente Guaita (opens in new tab) Ã¢ÂÂ who promptly fumbled a Mallorca (opens in new tab) shot to put the islanders into a lead they never lost (opens in new tab).
Another north London emigre Pascal Cygan (opens in new tab) also had an effective weekend for the opposition. The former Arsenal defender, now at Villarreal (opens in new tab), wafted a leg at an average cross (opens in new tab) to let in bottom club Osasuna (opens in new tab)'s striker Dani (opens in new tab) for a vital equaliser.
Sporting Gijon (opens in new tab) skipper Jorge (opens in new tab) is becoming something of a regular on this blog with his heroic efforts to ensure the failure of his own team by scoring an own goal for the past two weeks running.
Now it seems he has taken to merely turning provider for his opponents and this week he fluffed a back-header (opens in new tab) for Getafe (opens in new tab)'s Soldado (opens in new tab) to make it 1-0.
Cygan: "Doh" (opens in new tab)
And we conclude with a Frank Ribery (opens in new tab) penalty masterclass, as the Frenchman achieved the seemingly impossible by looking like more of a wally than StuttgartÃ¢ÂÂs former Arsenal (opens in new tab) keeper Jens Lehmann. The German didnÃ¢ÂÂt have to move a muscle as he simply caught RiberyÃ¢ÂÂs chipped effort (opens in new tab).
OGGY OGGY OGGY!
Players have been positively queueing up to appear in this week's own-goal honours list, so we'll start with Newcastle (not that one, GeordiesÃ¢ÂÂ¦) Jets' Mike Milligan (not that one, Oldham (opens in new tab) fans...) helpfully turning a Sydney FC cross into his own net (opens in new tab).
In Spain, former West Ham and Spurs front-man FrÃÂ©dÃÂ©ric Kanoute (opens in new tab) does what all good strikers do best, nipping in at the far post (opens in new tab) and beating "Serbian giant" (TM) Nikola Zigic (opens in new tab) to give Racing Santander (opens in new tab) a 2-0 lead against Sevilla (opens in new tab).
With form like that could he be the next former Spur Harry Redknapp tries to lure back to White Hart Lane for an inflated fee?
Back in Blighty, there's nothing like being top of the table to steady your nerves, as Wolves (opens in new tab)Ã¢ÂÂ defender Neill Collins (opens in new tab) demonstrates by gifting Reading (opens in new tab) a crucial win at the Madejski Stadium after just 61 seconds (opens in new tab)
He then got sent off late on for saying something rude to the assistant referee. So, all in all, a good nightÃ¢ÂÂs work.
Collins: OG, then OFF (opens in new tab)
Bournemouth (opens in new tab)'s Danny Hollands (opens in new tab) was in the thick of the action at both ends as the Cherries entertained fellow points-deduction sufferers Luton (opens in new tab) at Dean Court, first bundling a cross into his own net (opens in new tab) before making amends with a goal at the right end.
Tony Craig (opens in new tab) was credited with the opening goal at Edgar Street on Tuesday night, but watch the replay closely, and you'll discover that his header from a corner actually ricochets back off Bulls' midfielder Toumani Diagouraga (opens in new tab)'s face and loops into his own net (opens in new tab). Harsh!
Away from howlers and growlers now, as it's time to marvel at the booms, whacks and downright pieces of genius from the past seven days.
And we start with Nacional's Brazilian Nene, volleying a 30-yard lob (opens in new tab) over stranded Sporting keeper Rui Patricio. Magnifique!
David Beckham (opens in new tab) has been making the headlines (for a change) after scoring his first goal in Italy.
But his strike was just the cherry on a 4-1 win-shaped cake for Milan at Bologna. The main ingredients supplied by Kaka who scored twice - his second (and Milan's third) being a left-foot larrup from 20 yards (opens in new tab).
And not being content with just the one goal in a week, Goldenballs popped up with another, far more conventional, goal for the Rossonieri midweek against Genoa at the San Siro, curling home a trademark free-kick (opens in new tab).
Becks: Doing what he does best
Next, Perth Glory's Nikita Rukavytsya takes his time in a crowded Queensland penalty area to work the ball onto his favoured left foot and lash it inside the far post (opens in new tab).
While left-sided Belgian-Italian Sebastien Pocognoli finishes off a fine team move (opens in new tab) for Louis van Gaal's all-conquering AZ (eight straight wins without conceding a goal) to make it 2-0 and seal three points against De Graafschap.
Returning to Italian shores, Udinese's Simone Pepe bends in a 25-yard free kick (opens in new tab) early doors at former team Palermo to set up a 3-2 win for his new employers.
But is it as good as a goal as Chievo's patriotically named Vincenzo Italiano, who first-times a pulled-back corner from 30 yards (opens in new tab) in the last minute to seal an away win at Reggina.
Remember Danny Tiatto? A short Queensland Roar corner finds him unmarked to lash a 25-yarder into the far corner (opens in new tab) against Perth Glory. Far better than anything he ever pulled off for Leicester (opens in new tab) or Manchester City (opens in new tab).
In Spain, Jose Barkero (opens in new tab) cracks home a left-footed free-kick (opens in new tab) for Numancia (opens in new tab) at Barcelona (opens in new tab). Unfortunately they still ended up on the wrong end of a 4-1 hiding dished out by Messi (opens in new tab) & co.
While over in Malaga (opens in new tab), midfield ace Apono (opens in new tab)spanks in this great 30-yard drive (opens in new tab) to put his side 1-0 up against Atletico Madrid (opens in new tab).
In the last few weeks here on Video Stars, we may have been rather quick to draw attention to some of Artur Boruc (opens in new tab)Ã¢ÂÂs mishaps while keeping goal for Celtic (opens in new tab).
So it seems only fair we give him his due for the part he played in beating Dundee United (opens in new tab) 11-10 on penalties in the CIS Cup Semi Final on Wednesday night. Boruc coolly dispatched his own spot-kick with a side-footer right into the top corner (opens in new tab).
Imagine scoring the best goal of your career, from 40-yards, only for it to happen in a meaningless match in a deserted stadium so no one will ever remember it.
That's exactly what happened to poor old Mario Haas of Sturm Graz this week during a friendly against Dinamo Bucharest, when he scored from the far touchline (opens in new tab).
Cox takes aim
'But he's only No.1 because FourFourTwo are sponsoring the Robins this season,' we hear you collectively cry.
Until next time...
This week's Video Stars written by Rob Burnett. Enjoy the weekend's games Ã¢ÂÂ and send details of any great goals or gormless gaffes to email@example.com
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