Play FIFA? You’ll be one of these then – so tell us in the vote at the end
EA’s behemoth of a football series broke records when FIFA 17 was released. Reportedly selling more than 10 million copies on PS4 alone, it’s fair to say that there are thousands of people playing virtual football every minute of every day. Heck, you can now even watch them doing it on BT Sport, such is the popularity of the video game.
So if you’re one of the gazillions who play FIFA, you probably classify as one of these player types. Which rings true for you? We’ve compiled nine profiles for you to choose from, covering every gamer we’ve ever crossed pads with.
The Portuguese superstar is your inner FIFA 17 player, as you look to entertain the crowds as well as snatch victory
You know that trick stick inside out: advanced rainbows down the right wing (down, up, up on Right Stick), elastico chop down the left (down then left/right on the RS).
The Portuguese superstar is your inner FIFA 17 player, as you look to entertain the crowds as well as snatch victory. But if you can only have one then a well-timed scoop turn will suffice (X or B then A on Xbox; Square or Circle then X on PlayStation).
2. The fast and direct businessman, akin to Jamie Vardy
If you play FIFA Ultimate Team, no doubt your side is filled with players like Marco Reus, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Gareth Bale
Sit back in a low block and then smash them on the break. Rafa Benitez would be proud of your defensive tactics, but you know that by bolting the door behind you, you're also opening up space in behind your opponent's backline.
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If you play FIFA Ultimate Team, no doubt your side is filled with players like Marco Reus, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Gareth Bale.
3. The pass-it-about artist, akin to Iniesta
By denying the opposition any possession, you can frustrate them into making mistakes and being caught out of position
Starve them of possession. Make them really work for that ball. By denying the opposition any possession, you can frustrate them into making mistakes and being caught out of position.
Sadly this tactic doesn’t work too well in FIFA 17, with even Barcelona players unable to make routine passes and through-balls. But through patience, considered build-up play and the right dribble at the right time, you can bore your way to the top of the FIFA Seasons league table.
4. The never-ever-pass-it hog, akin to Arjen Robben
Basically, win the ball high up the pitch or around halfway, get it to the main man and go for it
All By Myself – a 1970s power ballad by Eric Carmen. Or the modus operandi of Bayern Munich’s genius Dutch winger Arjen Robben, and many a five-a-side player down at your local Goals Centre.
Basically, win the ball high up the pitch or around halfway, get it to the main man and go for it. Over and over again, even when marked by all 10 opposition outfielders. Bonus points for beating the same full-back more than 20 times a game.
5. The tinkerman, akin to Pep Guardiola
You’re likely to make a substitution as soon as a goal goes in because of the changing dynamic of the game
Forever tinkering with tactics and making every second count in the pauses allowed during games, you’re a rage-quitter’s worst nightmare. Whether tweaking the exact positions of your full-backs and depth of the back four, or switching between in-game attacking and defensive strategies, you’re likely to make a substitution as soon as a goal goes in because of the changing dynamic of the game. AAARGH.
6. The build-from-back master, akin to Gerard Pique
By using a Hugo Lloris-like sweeper, this player takes risks at the back but cleverly recycles play to create good attacking situations
This one differentiates from the possession boss by actually attacking in a direct way and making judicious use of dribbling – often chucking in a feint with the goalkeeper to craft a new passing lane to the third centre-back.
By using a Hugo Lloris-like sweeper, this player takes risks at the back but cleverly recycles play to create good attacking situations.
7. The flank flyer, akin to Douglas Costa
Goals from headers and volleys are your currency, and you’re cashing them in every time your opponent’s defence is stretched
While not relying on one-on-one situations alone, you’re still partial to some well-placed no-touch dribbling. Whether crossing high, crossing low or crossing early, you know how to find a well-timed run into the box.
Goals from headers and volleys are your currency, and you’re cashing them in every time your opponent’s defence is stretched. Bayern Munich may be your favourite online team pick, but Real Madrid and Chelsea aren’t far behind with Isco, Cristiano Ronaldo and Eden Hazard regular temptations.
8. The long-range shooter, akin to Philippe Coutinho
it’s all about smacking them in from around the edge of the box or beyond, with kudos given for anything that kisses the woodwork and flies in
The finesse shot does not exist in your attacking arsenal. Neither does the chip shot, or any kind of goal from a cross. Instead, it’s all about smacking them in from around the edge of the box or beyond, with kudos given for anything that kisses the woodwork and flies in.
While Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard used to be the undoubted masters of the long-range strike, it’s the likes of Gareth Bale, Philippe Coutinho and Radja Nainggolan who influence your online team picks these days. Bosh! May the power of your shots never droop.
9. The one-touch champion, akin to Paul Pogba
You enjoy popping the ball about in the middle of the pitch and teasing opposition midfielders to the ball
Popping the ball about in the middle of the pitch and teasing opposition midfielders to the ball? Tiki-taka still reigns supreme in your world.
Carefully cushioning the ball in midfield via short diagonals and creating more triangles than a pie factory are the tell-tale signs that you’ve spent too long watching Pep Guardiola’s Barcelona sides of 2009 and 2011. Ever heard of sticking it in the mixer?
