The Back of the Net report on Denmark's desperate defeat to non-gentle giants Germany
Germany spitefully defeated Denmark 2-1, knocking the distraught Danes out of the competition and giving boss Joachim LÃÂ¶w a brief flicker of pleasure.
The conclusion to the Group of Death saw Portugal, Holland and Denmark desperately fighting for their lives while Germany looked on with a mixture of disinterest and disdain.
Driven by mortal terror, Denmark made a lively start to the game while their opponents looked faintly amused, the occasional knowing smile breaking across their otherwise inscrutable faces.
While the earnest Danish side tried to put together passing moves and shots on target, the smirking Germans mockingly mimicked their efforts, having sarcastic shots of their own on Stephan AndersenÃ¢ÂÂs goal.
The contest was 19 minutes old when Germany struck as Lukas Podolski blasted past Andersen and celebrated by making a rude joke about Daniel AggerÃ¢ÂÂs mum.
But Denmark fought back valiantly and Michael Krohn-Dehli equalised, allowing his teammates to dream of a place in the quarter-finals.
However, the Germans werenÃ¢ÂÂt going to let Denmark off the hook that easily and with 10 minutes remaining, Lars Bender rounded off a breakaway move to make it 2-1 and end any chance Denmark had of progressing.
"Oi, Olsen. Outside, after, you're dead"
Joachim LÃÂ¶w briefly clenched his fist before clearly tiring of the action and spending the remainder of the game expertly firing spitballs at Danish boss Morten Olsen.
Ã¢ÂÂOf course I feel sorry for Denmark,Ã¢ÂÂ LÃÂ¶w told FourFourTwo in his post-match press conference while giving Olsen a wedgie, before adding Ã¢ÂÂÃ¢ÂÂ¦sorry theyÃ¢ÂÂre such losers,Ã¢ÂÂ as Olsen looked up hopefully.
Germany march on to face Greece in the quarter-finals despite a strongly-worded letter from DenmarkÃ¢ÂÂs mum suggesting they should be removed from the competition.
More match reports from Back of the Net:
POR 2-1 HOL: Things starting to look bad for Dutch, admits Van Marwijk
GRE 1-0 RUS: UEFA hope Greece forget to claim their quarter-final slot
POL 0-1 CZE: Polish celebratory vodka repurposed as misery vodka
SWE 2-3 ENG: Ice-cool England dispatch Sweden with ruthless efficiency...
UKR 0-2 FRA: Ukraine, 400-year-old God of Thunder unable to stop France
Get the best features, fun and footballing frolics straight to your inbox every week.
Thank you for signing up to Four Four Two. You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.