The Bad Acting, Ball Girl Debuting Weekend Predictions

SATURDAYGetafe (18th) v Almería (20th)Getafe president Angel Torres appears to have linked his club’s one win since February – the 1-0 win over Sevilla three weeks ago – to the fact that the stadium was over half full for once, after some 3,000 free tickets were handed out to kiddies in Getafe’s youth academy. As LLL was present in the Coliseum to witness the freak event of a Getafe win, the blog can report that the hapless side couldn’t help but beat a truly dreadful Sevilla no matter how many souls turned up for the game.

Torres is repeating the trick by inviting the youngsters and their families to Saturday’s must-win-or-they’re-truly-up-the-duff match against Almería, who could be relegated should they lose. LLL Prediction - Home win

Valencia (3rd) v Real Sociedad (12th)A victory over Barcelona last week, twelfth spot and needing just a couple of points for probable safety may not be enough for la Real coach Martin Lasarte to keep his job at the end of the season, claim AS.

Despite the fact that the Uruguayan manager took la Real up to la Primera with a team largely plucked from the youth academy, and has kept the Basques out of the relegation zone all season, the club’s bigwigs may punish Lasarte with the sack after a run of seven games without a win through February and March.

The same may happen to Unai Emery, who is out of contract at the end of the season but is being forced to wait and see if his side end up third or fourth to see if he gets to keep his job for another year. Come to think of it, knowing day-to-day life at the Mestalla madhouse, that threat might serve as encouragement for Emery to leave Valencia in fourth. LLL Prediction - Home win

Athletic Bilbao (7th) v Levante (9th)It’s not just Levante fans who are loving goal-machine extraordinaire Felipe Caicedo, but it’s the good people of the striker’s native Ecuador too – fun-loving,  musical folk who have recorded a song dedicated to the on-loan Manchester City man. Oh yes.  LLL Prediction - Home win

Sporting (10th) v Deportivo (17th)Like Levante, Sporting don’t have a great deal to play for at the moment, which perhaps explains why manager Manuel Preciado decided to dedicate his time to terrible acting for a terrible song with this performance in a terrible music video. LLL Prediction - Away win (that’s still somehow a goalless draw)

Hércules (19th) v Racing Santander (13th)Air traffic control problems, political unrest, a birthday party, a trip to Disneyland – just four of the excuses offered up by the increasingly desperate Racing president Francisco Pernía to explain the absence of AWOL owner Ali Syed for the team’s last two home games.

However, the "owner" tag may not be valid for much longer, with Ali Syed having reportedly missed the second payment due to the local council and the Montalvo family, from whom the Indian business ‘bought’ the club at the beginning of the year. Eight million is still owed and just €450,000 has been paid, reports Marca, who claim that the Montalvo clan are set to begin studying how to get the club back from the currently hard-to-find owner. LLL Prediction - Home win

Atlético Madrid (6th) v Málaga (14th)Diego Forlán’s days are numbered at Atlético, it would appear. Although the unhappy Uruguayan should have been flogged last summer at the peak of his blondie-haired powers, Forlán was kept but is now nothing more than a Kaká-style rapidly depreciating bench warmer who has been left out of Atlético’s starting line-up for the past five games.

“It’s not been easy for him or me,” admitted Quique Sánchez Flores last week on a player who has been linked with a move to Besiktas over the summer to help keep Guti company while he’s busy flogging his wares. LLL Prediction - Draw

Sevilla (5th) v Real Madrid (2nd) Will Sevilla’s crack, elite squad of young men be able to foil and confound Real Madrid’s desperate attempts to prevent Barcelona from winning the title this weekend with a victory? The answer is a resounding ‘no’.

That’s because the club’s ball boys have been removed from duties after apparently taking their own initiative through no instruction from their bosses whatsoever to lob extra balls onto the pitch a couple of weeks ago to stop any chance of a Villarreal comeback in a 3-2 win for Sevilla.

Sevilla’s president José María Del Nido has admitted that naughtiness was afoot and has promised that such scenes won’t be repeated – by using ball girls for Saturday’s clash. “We want the change to be clear and we choose the feminine option,” revealed Del Nido.

If the club are looking for more girls with basic athletic abilities, then LLL can recommend Fernando Gago to help out, as the midfielder is at an injured loose end these days. LLL Prediction - Away win 

SUNDAYMallorca (11th) v Villarreal (4th)After former Mallorca boss Gregorio Manzano complained that the club’s fans were loathe to watch the team’s games thanks to the weather being too hot or too cold or the priority of paella keeping them from the stadium, the Balearic side has another challenge on its hands – getting the locals up before midday, the time of Sunday’s kick-off against Villarreal.

In an experiment to see what the response from the Asian TV market is, the match that mighty normally have been played on the Monday night was moved. To tempt Mallorca fans out of bed – or redirect those still not home from Saturday night – the club’s bosses have put on sale 3,000 tickets between three and five euros, available for purchase by existing season ticket holders. LLL Prediction - Away win

Barcelona (1st) v Espanyol (8th)Espanyol’s José Callejón to Real Madrid? For €5m? Have the forces of Mordor suddenly become the new Getafe? LLL Prediction - Home win

Zaragoza (15th) v Osasuna (16th)Two teams who are far from safe this season but two teams – along with the rest of la Primera – who have been sent reminders from the Spanish League that, ahem, 'encouraging' other sides to produce pre-destined results is now an illegal act in Spain after the law was changed in December.

Marca for one is glad of the update to the criminal code and speaks hopefully of the end of times when “the final rounds of la Liga arrive, the intermediary appears, mysterious phone calls from dressing room to dressing room...”

“Now that the league is ending, football should be an example for all,” writes Friday’s editorial which calls for prison for anyone caught red-handed involved in such skullduggery. LLL Prediction - Home win 

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