Have we uncovered the secret of Juan Mata's rise to European glory?

Five years ago, Juan Mata was playing for Real Madrid 'B team' Castilla, but was unable to force his way into the Spanish capital club's first team.

Instead, he upped and left for Valencia, where he soon established himself as one of la Liga's top playmakers. His performances sealed a £23.5 million move to Chelsea last summer, and his ascent was completed on Saturday when the Blues lifted the Champions League trophy after a penalty shoot-out victory over Bayern Munich.

So what was the spur for this rise? A series of fortunate coincidences? Divine intervention from a higher power? The fact he was clearly a decent player the whole time but just needed to play regular football at the top level in order to hone his skills and prove himself? Pah, no, that's silly.

It's all down to the state of those Castilian thighs.

Whether he's shaved, waxed or had pointlessly expensive laser surgery on them, they're now as smooth as Phil Brown's Geordie crooning.

As you can see, he has stored the excess hair on his face.

So now you know. You're welcome.