FFT.com rounds up the brilliance and buffoonery from the world of football. Enjoyâ¦
OOPS!
Right, who wants to see a free-kick bounce off the post and smack into a helpless goalkeeper's face?
If you don't, you're in the wrong blog. If you do, watch Central Coast Mariners gloveman Danny Vukovic unwittingly use his fizzog to deny Adelaide's Lucas Pantelis.
FiorentinaâÂÂs keeper Sebastien Frey wonâÂÂt want to watch replays of him allowing Luigi VitaleâÂÂs left wing cross to sneak in at his near post, but you can right here. His howler allowed Napoli to equalise but Frey was grateful to Riccardo Montolivo for nabbing a winner for Fiorentina 10 minutes from time.
Frey: "Oops"
Pity poor Cesar Sanchez. Having spent much of the season with his gloves unsullied under the Spurs bench as Heurelho Gomes kept us all entertained, he fled back to Spain to help out Valencia when their first-choice No.1 Renan got injured.
So imagine his delight when gaffer Unai Emery instead gave a debut to 21-year-old Vicente Guaita â who promptly fumbled a Mallorca shot to put the islanders into a lead they never lost.
Another north London emigre Pascal Cygan also had an effective weekend for the opposition. The former Arsenal defender, now at Villarreal, wafted a leg at an average cross to let in bottom club Osasuna's striker Dani for a vital equaliser.
Sporting Gijon skipper Jorge is becoming something of a regular on this blog with his heroic efforts to ensure the failure of his own team by scoring an own goal for the past two weeks running.
Now it seems he has taken to merely turning provider for his opponents and this week he fluffed a back-header for Getafe's Soldado to make it 1-0.
Cygan: "Doh"
And we conclude with a Frank Ribery penalty masterclass, as the Frenchman achieved the seemingly impossible by looking like more of a wally than StuttgartâÂÂs former Arsenal keeper Jens Lehmann. The German didnâÂÂt have to move a muscle as he simply caught RiberyâÂÂs chipped effort.
OGGY OGGY OGGY!
Players have been positively queueing up to appear in this week's own-goal honours list, so we'll start with Newcastle (not that one, Geordiesâ¦) Jets' Mike Milligan (not that one, Oldham fans...) helpfully turning a Sydney FC cross into his own net.
In Spain, former West Ham and Spurs front-man Frédéric Kanoute does what all good strikers do best, nipping in at the far post and beating "Serbian giant" (TM) Nikola Zigic to give Racing Santander a 2-0 lead against Sevilla.
With form like that could he be the next former Spur Harry Redknapp tries to lure back to White Hart Lane for an inflated fee?
Back in Blighty, there's nothing like being top of the table to steady your nerves, as Wolvesâ defender Neill Collins demonstrates by gifting Reading a crucial win at the Madejski Stadium after just 61 seconds
He then got sent off late on for saying something rude to the assistant referee. So, all in all, a good nightâÂÂs work.
Collins: OG, then OFF
Bournemouth's Danny Hollands was in the thick of the action at both ends as the Cherries entertained fellow points-deduction sufferers Luton at Dean Court, first bundling a cross into his own net before making amends with a goal at the right end.
While the best own goal of the lot didn't even go down as an OG, as promotion-chasing Millwall took the lead at struggling Hereford.
Tony Craig was credited with the opening goal at Edgar Street on Tuesday night, but watch the replay closely, and you'll discover that his header from a corner actually ricochets back off Bulls' midfielder Toumani Diagouraga's face and loops into his own net. Harsh!
GOL!
Away from howlers and growlers now, as it's time to marvel at the booms, whacks and downright pieces of genius from the past seven days.
And we start with Nacional's Brazilian Nene, volleying a 30-yard lob over stranded Sporting keeper Rui Patricio. Magnifique!
David Beckham has been making the headlines (for a change) after scoring his first goal in Italy.
But his strike was just the cherry on a 4-1 win-shaped cake for Milan at Bologna. The main ingredients supplied by Kaka who scored twice - his second (and Milan's third) being a left-foot larrup from 20 yards.
And not being content with just the one goal in a week, Goldenballs popped up with another, far more conventional, goal for the Rossonieri midweek against Genoa at the San Siro, curling home a trademark free-kick.
Becks: Doing what he does best
Next, Perth Glory's Nikita Rukavytsya takes his time in a crowded Queensland penalty area to work the ball onto his favoured left foot and lash it inside the far post.
While left-sided Belgian-Italian Sebastien Pocognoli finishes off a fine team move for Louis van Gaal's all-conquering AZ (eight straight wins without conceding a goal) to make it 2-0 and seal three points against De Graafschap.
Returning to Italian shores, Udinese's Simone Pepe bends in a 25-yard free kick early doors at former team Palermo to set up a 3-2 win for his new employers.
But is it as good as a goal as Chievo's patriotically named Vincenzo Italiano, who first-times a pulled-back corner from 30 yards in the last minute to seal an away win at Reggina.
Remember Danny Tiatto? A short Queensland Roar corner finds him unmarked to lash a 25-yarder into the far corner against Perth Glory. Far better than anything he ever pulled off for Leicester or Manchester City.
In Spain, Jose Barkero cracks home a left-footed free-kick for Numancia at Barcelona. Unfortunately they still ended up on the wrong end of a 4-1 hiding dished out by Messi & co.
While over in Malaga, midfield ace Aponospanks in this great 30-yard drive to put his side 1-0 up against Atletico Madrid.
In the last few weeks here on Video Stars, we may have been rather quick to draw attention to some of Artur BorucâÂÂs mishaps while keeping goal for Celtic.
So it seems only fair we give him his due for the part he played in beating Dundee United 11-10 on penalties in the CIS Cup Semi Final on Wednesday night. Boruc coolly dispatched his own spot-kick with a side-footer right into the top corner.
Imagine scoring the best goal of your career, from 40-yards, only for it to happen in a meaningless match in a deserted stadium so no one will ever remember it.
That's exactly what happened to poor old Mario Haas of Sturm Graz this week during a friendly against Dinamo Bucharest, when he scored from the far touchline.
But we save the very best until last, readers, in the form of Swindon Town's goal-machine Simon Cox.
Cox takes aim
'But he's only No.1 because FourFourTwo are sponsoring the Robins this season,' we hear you collectively cry.
'Poppycock' says FourFourTwo. Check out his Dennis Bergkamp-esque touch and 30-yard volley against Walsall. We're pretty sure you'll see sense.
Until next time...
This week's Video Stars written by Rob Burnett. Enjoy the weekend's games â and send details of any great goals or gormless gaffes to gary.parkinson@haymarket.com
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