Why Barca focus on developing smaller players - behind the scenes at La Masia

We couldn't help but notice, upon nosing through pictures of Barcelona's recently redeveloped La Masia academy, that the beds are rather tiddly, which perhaps explains a lot.

You're not going to cram a future 6ft5in target-man into one of those

Man Utd aren't the only club to be heavily involved with the glazers...

Where the next Messi will have growth hormones mashed into his breakfast

Ikea Madrid struggled to shift the Blaugrana range of storage units

Either a bench for tactical debriefings, or some kind of communal toilet...

"No spinning, and certainly no verticals!"

*Insert 'taking corners' joke here*

"That Zonal Marking has sussed us out, gaffer!"

Players may leave, but must first pass through the haunted corridor of doom