La Liga LocaÃ¢ÂÂs Good Day, Bad Day - Round 29
LLL is being extremely kind-hearted in plonking Real Madrid in the good day section, but a winÃ¢ÂÂs a winÃ¢ÂÂs a winÃ¢ÂÂs a win - although slightly less so when AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid are involved considering the last time the hapless Rojiblancos came out on top in a derby was 1999, the year that saw the side relegated.
The first half of Sunday nightÃ¢ÂÂs game was abysmal and the second only marginally better, despite the five goal score line. Ã¢ÂÂThe most boring 3-2 I have ever seenÃ¢ÂÂ muttered one of the blogÃ¢ÂÂs colleagues.
The atmosphere in the Bernabeu was lousy, the football was lousy and so were most of the Real Madrid players.
Gonzalo HiguaÃÂn missed from a metre, although made up for this in the second half with his 23rd of the season.
Cristiano Ronaldo was back to blasting long shots over the bar and pouting. Marcelo was largely ignored. Xabi Alonso was pinging balls into the stands and Esteban Granero was so bad he was booed.
But then at half-time, Real Madrid remembered they were playing AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid and AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid remembered they were, well, AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid and surrendered their 1-0 lead in a catastrophic 15 minute spell.
The Madridista press are boasting that Sunday saw a Ã¢ÂÂChampionship comebackÃ¢ÂÂ (AS) with Marca claiming on MondayÃ¢ÂÂs front page that Ã¢ÂÂThis is how you win a league.Ã¢ÂÂ
But if Real Madrid donÃ¢ÂÂt play an awful lot better in a fortnightÃ¢ÂÂs time in el ClasÃÂco, then theyÃ¢ÂÂll be blooming lucky to score two against BarÃÂ§aÃ¢ÂÂs six, as happened in last seasonÃ¢ÂÂs Bernabeu disaster.
Arguably, the narrow 1-0 win over Mallorca was the most important in the league for PepÃ¢ÂÂs Dream Boys, this season, after the victory over Real Madrid in the Camp Nou.
Ã¢ÂÂTake that Madrid!Ã¢ÂÂ yelled an adult JosÃÂ© Luis Carazo in SundayÃ¢ÂÂs Sport, in expressing the relief in the Catalan press.
Mallorca had won 12 from 13 in the Ono Estadi and Barcelona were starting the game without Messi, Xavi, Henry and Pique. But the risk paid off. Just.
Ã¢ÂÂWe had a fantastic second half in every way,Ã¢ÂÂ beamed Pep Guardiola after a second 45 minutes when the first two of the missing four were called into action.
The Swede has now scored three from three in la Liga - all-be-it one from a penalty gift from Leo Messi and two tap-ins - but the last two goals against Osasuna and Mallorca should silence some of the strikerÃ¢ÂÂs many, many demons.
One of them was physically standing behind the forward and waving, on Saturday night, with Zlatan being interviewed on TV in Spanish and answering in Italian whilst MallorcaÃ¢ÂÂs devilishly brilliant mascot caused mischief in the background.
But his finest moment surely game when he chased a laughing Bojan around the pitch during the warm up and proceeded to poke an unamused Pep Guardiola in the chest with his trident.
ItÃ¢ÂÂs three wins from five for GorositoÃ¢ÂÂs Xerez who banged in an incredible three goals to hammer relegation rivals, Valladolid, on Sunday.
The clubÃ¢ÂÂs Argentinean mullet-sporting miracle of a manager may look as though he should be whistling along to Ã¢ÂÂWinds of ChangeÃ¢ÂÂ whilst clutching a lighter but Gorosito has done a truly remarkable job at the bottom of the table team since taking over in January.
The 1-1 draw against MÃÂ¡laga meant another failure to win on their travels for Tenerife in 14 attempts.
But the point was a useful one after a late penalty was converted by Alfaro due to the about-to-shoot Nino being upended by Patrick Mtiliga, the MÃÂ¡laga defender who found fame, this season, for selfishly being too small to dodge Cristiano RonaldoÃ¢ÂÂs elbow in their Bernabeu clash.
Riki!!!, Angel Arizmendi
The last time that either of these Ã¢ÂÂstrikersÃ¢ÂÂ did what it says on the tin, was back in round 23 of la Primera when they both troubled the score sheet on the same spooky match day.
But it was dÃÂ©ja-vu all over again, this weekend, with the former grabbing the only goal for Deportivo in their 3-1 defeat to Getafe and Arizmendi surprising himself as much as the rest of the world with the second for his side in a remarkable 3-0 pounding of Valencia.
LLL still doesnnÃ¢ÂÂt like the manager in charge of Getafe. Too pretty, too fond of fielding his inept children in the line-up and possessing eyes that are too close together.
But the blog is probably quite wrong in its incomprehensible, irrational belief as Michel has now accumulated more points than former bosses and LLL heroes, Bernd Schuster and Michael Laudrup, managed at the same stage in seasons past.
Getafe got to within two points of the top six (with Athletic to play on Monday) with a wholly unpredictable 3-1 away win in a game where both managers were banished from the bench after sendings off in the midweek round of matches.
The Pamplonan sideÃ¢ÂÂs first win in eight attempts came from - and how wonderfully comforting it feels to write these words again - a header from Walter Pandiani...
...but it should have been an awful lot more goals from the Uruguayan striker and his Basque-land buddies. Instead, Osasuna were held to a 1-0 win after a staggeringly good performance from AlmerÃÂaÃ¢ÂÂs Brazilian goalkeeper, Diego Alves.
Villarreal boss, JosÃÂ© Carlos Garrido went for broke, sold the stable and put his butt on the line against a sorry Sevilla by starting with the triple attack of Nilmar, Giuseppe Rossi and Joseba Llorente.
But it was a plan that came together with the home side 2-0 up inside 17 minutes.
Another fine seasonÃ¢ÂÂs work for the Vicente CalderÃÂ³n club. Six points handed to Real Madrid thanks mainly to a series of defensive howlers - PereaÃ¢ÂÂs stumble against HiguaÃÂn in the first derby of the season, being the best - and three taken off Barcelona after FebruaryÃ¢ÂÂs 2-1 win.
Ã¢ÂÂA mission dutifully completed, every season,Ã¢ÂÂ sniggers TomÃÂ¡s Roncero in AS.
Quique SÃÂ¡nchez Flores cites the loss of both JosÃÂ© Antonio Reyes and Juan Valera to injury as the cause of AtlÃÂ©ticoÃ¢ÂÂs second half collapse. However, Roberto Palomar sums up the situation best in Marca with the observation that Ã¢ÂÂthe defence is a joke, like a fake beard or plastic poo poo.Ã¢ÂÂ
Ã¢ÂÂThe Rojiblancos went into a panic when they were winning and then they were afraid to lose.Ã¢ÂÂ
LLL suspects that Atleti were not fussed at all by the defeat with Diego ForlÃÂ¡n looking fairly unconcerned after the game and claiming that the Europa League and Copa del Rey are the clubÃ¢ÂÂs main concerns this season. And at 37 points from the top, thatÃ¢ÂÂs probably a wise approach to take.
The comedy figure of Luis Perea got the biggest cheer of the night from the home fans when the defender came on to replace the injured right back, Valera. The second biggest was PereaÃ¢ÂÂs first touch.
Ã¢ÂÂThe worst humiliation for a footballer,Ã¢ÂÂ noted an AtlÃÂ©tico socio to LLL. Ã¢ÂÂBooed by your own fans and applauded by the opposition.Ã¢ÂÂ
Ã¢ÂÂAntonio Alvarez is in charge of a corpse,Ã¢ÂÂ was MarcaÃ¢ÂÂs opinion after Sunday eveningÃ¢ÂÂs 3-0 defeat to Villarreal.
The season ending stopgap was a popular choice for both players and fans to drag the Andalusian side into the Champions League places, having been the number two under JoaquÃÂn CaparrÃÂ³s, Juande Ramos and Manolo JimÃÂ©nez.
Nevertheless, the three training sessions that the former player had in charge of the side werenÃ¢ÂÂt enough to provoke any kind of reaction in El Madrigal in a game where the score could have been a whole lot worse for Sevilla (again) had it not been for AndrÃÂ©s Palop in goal.
Two missed headers from the stilt-wearing Serbian and a sending off at the end of the first half lead to an embarrassing 3-0 defeat to Zaragoza for Valencia who were without the concussed David Villa.
The Mestalla men are now 21 points from the big two at the top due to their never-ending incompetency. Good work.
Paul from Barcelona is a brave man to show his face on the blogÃ¢ÂÂs pages after EspanyolÃ¢ÂÂs goalless draw against visiting Sporting. ItÃ¢ÂÂs a result that leaves the Pericos with a terrible tally of just 21 league goals all season, the worst in la Primera.
Ã¢ÂÂWell, that's two hours of my life I'll never get back. I'm assuming it finished 0-0 as I lost the will to live after 70 minutes. One great save by Sporting's goalie and that was about it.
"Kameni could have stayed at home and done some decorating. Espanyol well on top throughout but the final pass was woeful.
"250 Sporting fans, quite noisy and the ref wasn't half as bad as the crowd thought.Ã¢ÂÂ
The crushing home defeat now puts the Pucela side seven points from safety and just two from the bottom.
Ã¢ÂÂAt the moment, we donÃ¢ÂÂt know how to play football,Ã¢ÂÂ complained Deportivo boss, Miguel Angel Lotina, after the 3-1 defeat to Getafe, the sideÃ¢ÂÂs third successive loss.
The blog feels the words Ã¢ÂÂat the momentÃ¢ÂÂ were unnecessary in this particular statement.
*You can catch La Liga Loca punditing like no-oneÃ¢ÂÂs business on RMTVÃ¢ÂÂs La Liga review show, Ã¢ÂÂExtra TimeÃ¢ÂÂ, on Sky 446 from 22.05 UK time and repeated through to Thursday.