Gleaming machines, computer monitors and sports science experts – walking into the human performance lab at Perform at St George's Park, it is easy feel as though you have been cast as Rocky villain Ivan Drago for a workout at his sinister hi-tech training base.
Shortly, there will be emphatic proof that I am not, by any measure, that type of physical specimen.
Housed amid the Football Association's sprawling national football centre in Burton, Perform's facilities provide a one-stop shop for the pre-signing football medical. As the deadline to English football's mid-season transfer window looms, the facility is prepared to go into overdrive.
"It's a good time," says sport science lead Dr Carl Wells. "It's hectic because you know you can get a phone call to perform a last-minute medical on a player who is making a last-minute move.
"The information we can provide to the club, to the player and to the agent can be really valuable."
Dr Wells is my first port of call as a selection of apprehensive journalists experience a flavour of the what goes on behind the scenes on deadline day.
Following a brief warm-up on the exercise bike, I am strapped in for leg lifts on the imposingly named isokinetic dynamometer.
At slower speeds, I chart 45 per cent, but find myself within range at high speeds. Dr Wells charitably describes this as "interesting".
Next up is the dreaded VO2 max test – a method of discovering a player's maximal aerobic uptake.
Premier League stars will do this to exhaustion, through incremental increases in treadmill speed, eventually running at more than 20 kilometers per hour.
Fitted out with a pinching nose clip and oxygen-mask/gumshield hybrid, I am grateful time is called at 13km/h of sweaty trundle.
"We're not as black and white as that," says clinical director Dr Charlotte Cowie. "A good medical will really just give the club the tools it needs to make an assessment of how much risk of injury this player has."
"I've been in the situation where a manager has said to me 'I want this player now, I think he could score 20 goals for me this season'," Dr Cowie explained.
"I said, 'Well, there's a long-term injury risk ,but he's fine now'. And he said 'I'm happy to take him because I need him now. If he breaks down in a year or two I'm ready to accept the risk that we may have to buy again next season, but he's right for me now'."
It is becoming a day of hard truths.
Kemp has served as part of the England team's medical staff since 2012 and estimates, when including the full array of MRI scans, CT scans and cardiac screening, a thorough, complete medical can span up to 48 hours.
"On transfer deadline day you haven't got that time," he explains. "The clock is ticking and the club, the medical department and the chief executive are going to have to decide what's most valuable to them.
"A number of the fitness tests may be dropped out. You're going to want just your key information.
"Are they a really high-risk signing? Have they got a cardiac screening or something that you have to make sure you've assessed they're safe to play?
"And how can you quantify that risk in the shortest period of time? That's the challenge on deadline day."
It is a challenge that Kemp, Dr Cowie, Dr Wells and their colleagues at Perform at St George's Park appear superbly well-equipped to meet.
***Perform at St George’s Park are available for the support of players and clubs during the transfer medical process, to keep up to date with Perform news follow @PerformSGP on Twitter.***
