Chelsea captain John Terry is standing tall, as Back of the Net's John Foster explains...
Former England captain John Terry last night announced his retirement from international football, in a move that has been unanimously hailed as Ã¢ÂÂinspirationalÃ¢ÂÂ and Ã¢ÂÂcharacteristically brave.Ã¢ÂÂ
Terry read out his statement personally before the media, his upper lip quivering with courage while patriotic tears rolled slowly down his lion-hearted cheeks.
Ã¢ÂÂThe FAÃ¢ÂÂs decision to continue making me the first name on the teamsheet despite these allegations portrays a shameful lack of trust in me,Ã¢ÂÂ the Chelsea stalwart told reporters. Ã¢ÂÂThe only honourable thing to do in response is to throw a massive flouncy strop.
Ã¢ÂÂI always said I would never turn my back on England,Ã¢ÂÂ he continued, from the deck of Roman AbramovichÃ¢ÂÂs yacht off the Dover coast, Ã¢ÂÂAnd by refusing to play for England, IÃ¢ÂÂve shown IÃ¢ÂÂm prepared to take the tough decisions before theyÃ¢ÂÂre taken for me.Ã¢ÂÂ
Handing Terry the armband wasn't McClaren's worst call as England boss
The timing of the announcement, which came on the eve of an FA disciplinary hearing for alleged racial abuse, provides TerryÃ¢ÂÂs many supporters with further evidence that the 31-year old would never walk away from a fight, except for difficult ones.
Ã¢ÂÂDespite the fact that this investigation has been on the cards since July, I decided to delay my retirement until now,Ã¢ÂÂ Terry continued, Ã¢ÂÂBecause not ducking out of a challenge until the last second shows exactly the type of leader I am.Ã¢ÂÂ
Perhaps the most impressive feature of TerryÃ¢ÂÂs statement is the inspiring message it will give to young supporters across the nation, who will surely be encouraged by their idolÃ¢ÂÂs petulant sense of entitlement.
Ã¢ÂÂWinners never quit, except when they doÃ¢ÂÂ a spokesman for the player told FourFourTwo.com. Ã¢ÂÂLook, JT is a special player, and he deserves special treatment. Otherwise whatÃ¢ÂÂs the point of taking part?Ã¢ÂÂ
When pressed, Terry confirmed that if England are victorious in an international tournament in his lifetime, he would be prepared to end his retirement just in time for the trophy presentation.
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
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