BotN: McLeish holiday postcards too boring to finish

Big Eck's vaction explanations don't have anybody 'wishing they were here', as Back of the Net's John Foster reveals...

Friends and family of Alex McLeish have told FourFourTwo.com that the postcards sent home by the former Aston Villa boss from his hotel in Magaluf are too boring to be read in their entirety.

“I have to admit, my heart sank when I turned over the picture of a donkey wearing a sombrero and saw Alex’s signature,” McLeish’s sister Kate explained. “I made it about two-thirds of the way through, but I had to give up during his description of the air-conditioning unit.”

“Alex means well,” she continued. “I wish he’d cut loose a little bit and let the words flow, but he’s fixated on joylessly grinding out postcard after postcard. I asked him about it once, and he told me if I wanted excitement I should go read Andy McNabb.”

"...and on the flight here I watched TWO episodes of Taggart..."

Identical problems reportedly marred postcards sent by McLeish during previous holidays to Blackpool (2007), Center Parcs Longleat (2009 and 2010), and Center Parcs Whinfell (2011).

Sources also indicated that a ‘potentially-interesting’ 2008 postcard sent by the ex-Rangers boss from Zadar contained no mention of the sights of the medieval Croatian city, instead focusing on the various breakfast options available in McLeish’s hotel, and his dissatisfaction with all of them.

In other news, the holiday photos taken by Roma boss Zdenek Zeman on his solo parachuting and mountaineering holiday in the Peruvian Andes have been adjudged “too exciting” to be viewed by human eyes, and have been impounded on public safety grounds.

Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.

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