Violence in Valladolid & Sleepless in Getafe

The blog has so many stories desperately trying to burst out of its insufficiently-sized brain.

Joan Laporta kicking his bestest childhood buddy out of the Barcelona presidential race. Guti’s Country Life inspired outfit from Saturday night. Rebellion in Marca’s ranks about the future of Manuel Pellegrini. Almería to play in see-through tops in the final game of the season as a publicity stunt for next season’s sponsors.

However, all these footballing fables are going to have wait a wee while.

That’s because la Liga has seen FIFA’s end of season deadline approaching like a train of doom and ordered a second round of midweek matches in three weeks.

And following the finest tradition of Spanish football, most clashes have been carefully scheduled to ensure the least amount of spectators and TV viewers possible, of course. But there are some magnificent Messis to be found amongst the mediocre Manus in the fixture list for round 32 la Primera.

Setting the Iberian barrel rolling at eight, it’s Valladolid - a side five points from safety and without a hope in hell of closing that gap any time soon - hosting Sevilla, a team most right-thinking folk lost all interest in some months back.

The game sees the home debut for Valladolid’s third manager of the season, Javier Clemente, who took over at the Pucela club just over a week ago and continues the natural progression of trainers at Valladolid, who have become angrier as the year has gone on.

José Luis Mendilibar was one to sit arms-folded through games, scowling and occasionally hurling insults at his players, to pass the time.

His successor, Onesímo Sánchez, skipped the scowling phase and went straight for the yelling abuse at his squad.

Javier Clemente was born screaming at footballers and will probably die doing so. And die happy, too.

The former Spain boss has a taken on a particularly poisoned chalice in trying to save Valladolid, a group of failing footballers hated by their own fans and apparently out on the lash whenever they are not occupied half-heartedly kicking balls about.

However, Clemente is familiar with the situation having had to do the same survival ritual with Murcia two seasons ago, but failing in his challenge.

“It does bother me that clubs only call me when their heads are on the block,” muttered Clemente to Marca.

Tuesday’s irate affair could be déja-vu all over again for visiting Sevilla, who had to endure 90 minutes of mayhem, on Saturday, from a Málaga side who have managed to become one of the most loathed teams in la Primera, this season, from being one of the most loved due to their filthy, diving, playacting, spitting, cheating ways.

“Aggressive, long balls....” was the rather gloomy prediction from Sevilla boss, Antonio Alvarez, ahead of the clash.

The other game kicking off at eight is an inevitable 2-0 victory for Sporting against visiting Tenerife, a team who have managed just three draws from 15 away days, this season.

Tuesday’s third and final fixture between Getafe and Villarreal kicks off at ten and is an encounter that LLL would have loved to have gone to.

However, the blog is not overly keen on the prospect of either having to spend the night on a bench in Madrid’s southern suburb or return to base-camp in the (very late) early hours of Wednesday morning, which is what any Getafe fans living in the centre will have to do.

Villarreal’s push for fourth spot - and they will achieve this, oh yes - will almost certainly be boosted by facing LLL’s favourite (least unfavourite, perhaps) Primera side, but a side the blog will happily admit to being complete wimpy pushovers.

Ten days ago, Espanyol held Getafe to a 1-1 draw at the Coliseum and were jammy indeed, on Saturday, in their 1-0 away win at Xerez, a game that ended with scuffles after nasty old Derek Boateng and Miku reminded the opposition players that they would be making a swift return to la Segunda, this season.

With Getafe on 44 points and the whiff of holiday brochures wafting out of the Coliseum camp, the blog has a cheeky feeling that a 3-0 hiding may be in store for Michel’s men - and that LLL will be snoring away on the sofa long before the clash comes to its midnight end.

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