55 million euros but Kaka can't touch his nuts
It has been a bad week for the Italian male following a high-court ruling that it is now a criminal offence to touch oneÃ¢ÂÂs genitals in public.
A quick grab of the privates is thought to ward off bad luck so there must have been plenty of law-breaking at the San Siro on Wednesday evening as Inter sneaked a last-gasp equaliser against AS Roma to all but end the race for the title.
The result maintained the nine-point gap the defending champions hold over the Romans at the top of the table and the papers were full of praise for InterÃ¢ÂÂs very-own super-hero, Javier Zanetti, who netted the goal.
Ã¢ÂÂCaptain ScudettoÃ¢ÂÂ, trumpeted the headline in La Gazzetta dello Sport, adding Ã¢ÂÂZanetti comes to the rescue.Ã¢ÂÂ
When Nerzzurri coach Roberto Mancini had finally taken his hands out of his pocket, he admitted: Ã¢ÂÂThis point is as good as a win.Ã¢ÂÂ
He did, however, feel that a higher power had also been at work. Ã¢ÂÂIt was preordained that Zanetti would score because he has the most appearances for the time. It was a sign.Ã¢ÂÂ
Spooky stuff but nothing that Tuttosport wouldnÃ¢ÂÂt be familiar with as they, of course, inhabit a parallel universe where only the exploits of Juventus exist.
ThursdayÃ¢ÂÂs headline, Ã¢ÂÂAn even stronger JuveÃ¢ÂÂ, confidently set out the clubÃ¢ÂÂs transfer targets.
Although ArsenalÃ¢ÂÂs Mathieu Flamini may been linked with the Old Lady in the English press, those in the know at the Juve Echo dismissed the idea that the midfielder would be on the way to Turin.
In fact, the English Premier League looked off bounds for the old girl, without even a mention of those two perennial favourites Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard.
Instead the targets were closer to home, with the pick of the bunch being PalermoÃ¢ÂÂs Brazilian striker Amauri, Roma midfielder Alberto Aquilani and NapoliÃ¢ÂÂs Slovakian whiz-kid Marek Hamsik.
Of course, that had all changed by Friday morning and Lampard was once again Claudio RanieriÃ¢ÂÂs number one target and Bacary Sagna had replaced Flamini on the list of summer arrivals.
Corriere dello Sport were having none of it and claimed that Ranieri would have 50 million euro tops to spend so it was back to the bargain bin again.
All three dailies did take great delight at sticking two fingers up at Real Madrid, however, gleefully splashing Ã¢ÂÂKaka at Milan for lifeÃ¢ÂÂ, across their front pages after the Brazilian signed a contract extension with the Rossoneri until 2013.
>Ã¢ÂÂGive it up, RealÃ¢ÂÂ, gloated the Corriere as they went on to reveal that the World and European Footballer of the Year will reportedly earn an impressive 55 million euros over the next five years.
Good work if you can get it.