8 reasons why everyone hates... Tottenham

Bill Nicholson this, Push and Run that, Jimmy Greaves the other. Professional Spurs hater Tim Stillman outlines some of the reasons that all right-thinking people can’t stand the team from N17

Please note: Arsenal have had the return treatment too, so no, we aren't just picking on you. Oh, and the below doesn't necessarily represent the views of FourFourTwo. Enjoy... 

1. They always get ahead of themselves

They haven’t won the league title since the Bronze Age, but that small fact doesn’t seem to dissuade players and fans alike from talking themselves up

Spurs have a philosophy of dreaming big and failing hilariously. They haven’t won the league title since the Bronze Age, but that small fact doesn’t seem to dissuade players and fans alike from talking themselves up well before the finish line comes into view.

During the 1987 Littlewoods semi-final against their hated neighbours Arsenal, Spurs began announcing ticket details for the final at half-time with a slender 1-0 lead behind them. Late Gunners goals from Ian Allison and David Rocastle turned the crestfallen Lilywhites a distinct shade of crimson.

After their admittedly-impressive destruction of Stoke last April, Harry Kane posted a picture of a pack of lions on his Instagram page, intended as a warning to league leaders Leicester. Spurs didn't win another game all season and eventually finished third following a familiar collapse.

Then in 2012/13, as Spurs chased down fourth-placed Arsenal on the final day, ex-chairman and Lord of the Realm Alan Sugar passed on the news that Newcastle had equalised against the Gunners at St James’ Park. Word got around inside White Hart Lane and Spurs fans began to celebrate, but the information was false – the Magpies hadn't levelled the scores in the north-east. Arsenal held their nerve and 1-0 advantage to condemn Spurs to yet another year in the Europa League.

2. They get on the wrong side of everyone

Tottenham expressed an interest in taking part in the Southern League, but only received a single vote from the 12 interested teams (presumably their own, which is something at least)

Spurs fans are still rather embittered (and misinformed) about the events of 1919, which saw Arsenal elected to the First Division in their place. Despite extensive lobbying, Tottenham only secured eight votes as they applied for admission to the top tier, compared to Arsenal’s 18. Entirely unsubstantiated accusations of skulduggery from Arsenal began to surface from Spurs fan fiction accounts in the late 1960s.

A similar vote took place in 1892, as clubs in the south sought to form a Southern League. Tottenham expressed an interest in taking part, but only received a single vote from the 12 interested teams (presumably their own, which is something at least). Spurs, who eventually joined the Southern League in 1896, resigned from it in 1905 to join the Football League – but they overestimated their popularity and failed to secure enough votes to be elected, leaving them frozen out of both the Southern League and Football League structures.

London Stadium

Spurs missed out on London Stadium, although they're probably not too bothered in hindsight

Over a century later, Tottenham were still rubbing people up the wrong way politically, as they looked to move away from White Hart Lane. The club tried to make a grab for the Olympic Stadium in Stratford, but Newham Council were unimpressed with their proposal, opting to support West Ham’s bid instead. Tottenham’s request for a Judicial Review into the decision was also rejected as they continued to irritate the authorities.

3. They release DVDs for bloody everything

Every time Spurs defeat a local rival, they mark the occasion with a DVD release, causing mirth among opposition fans. The practice reached parody levels in October 2008, when the club decided that a 4-4 draw at the Emirates was reason enough for the ceremonial treatment.

Even the usually-reticent Frank Lampard was moved to comment, telling an interviewer that, “It's always bad to lose to Tottenham because they make DVDs of it for the next 10 years”.

Tottenham

A dramatic moment, certainly, but worthy of a DVD?