Every season we sit in front of the Fantasy Premier League app, scratching our heads. We make decisions, go back on those decisions. What do we choose, exactly? What's a sure-fire tactic to see us top our mates' league come Monday morning?
And that's just to choose the name of our fantasy team. While 'Harry's Heroes' and 'Steve's XI' may have used to have had a place in your Fantasy League, now it's about the funniest, the punniest and the downright worst wordplay possible. Some footballers are legitimately stigmatised for life by awful Fantasy names. Yes, Jeff Schlupp. Looking at you.
So we thought we'd throw some ideas into the ring for you. How about these to start you off with? If you're using the FPL app, there's a character limit of 20 – but some of these names might come in useful in other games: even Sunday League teams.
The classics
These will either a) never get old or b) already feel so old that they’re back in fashion again. That’s how it works, right?
- Ctrl + Alt + De Laet
- Game Of Throw-Ins
- Khedira Pin Drop
- 3 Men and a Bebe
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Skrtels
- Murder On Zidane’s Floor
- ABCDE FC
- Fifty Shades Of Andy Gray
- Krul and the Gang
- Obi One Kenobi Nil
- The Cesc Pistols
- Cesc and the City
- Le Saux Solid Crew
- Dzeko and the Bunnymen
- Blink 1-Eto’o
- Men Behaving Chadli
- Giroud Awakening
- Lingardium Leviosa
- Willian Dollar Baby
- Sonny and Schar
- Lallana Del Rey
- HuttonDressedAsLahm
- Lallanas in Pyjamas
- Delph & Safety
- Show Me The Mane
- Lads on Toure
- Morning Traore
The top tier
*raucous applause from Team FFT*
- The Martial Mata LP
- Cahills Have Eyes
- Gangsters Allardyce
- Sound of the Lloris
- Flying Without Ings
- Come Digne With Mee
- Löw Island
- Michu at De Gea Ba
- Who Ate All Depays?
- Moves Like Xhaka
- The Konate Kid
- Clyne of Duty
- Netflix and Chilwell
- Obi 1 Kenobi 0
- Let’s Go Fosu-Mensah
- Run The Kewells
- What Samatta With U
- Tea for the Tielemans
- Hanging By A Fred
- Knockaert Blow
- Slumdog Mignolet
- Mee, My Delph & Ibe
- If Tomori Never Comes
- Muller Reus Corner
- She Sells Lascelles
- Afternoon De Ligt
- Smack My Bilic Up
- Mint Bailly’s
- For Fuchs Sake
- Sissoko Ono
Some based on current players
- Boly Pocket
- Back of the Neto
- Yes Ndidi
- Bernard's Poch
- Smith Rowe Your Boat
- We Don't Talk About Bruno
- Werner Brothers
- Gueye Pride
- Born in a Barnes
- I Love Lamp(tey)
- Amartey McFly
- CommethTheAouar
- Groß Misconduct
- Death On The Maitland Niles
- Dukes of Hazard
- Judy Haaland
- ...Tuanzebe1MoreTime
- Keita The Door
- Kinder Mbeumo
- De Jong Trousers
- Courtois You Being Served?
- Cobra Kai Havertz
- AlbrightonTheNight
- Cancelo Culture
- Enter Shaqiri
- Blazinchenko Squad
- Ake Breaky Heart
- Saka Potatoes
- HoldingBackTheYears
- Haven't Jota Clue
- Of Mice and Mendy
- Gilmour Girls
- BashamTheBishop
- Bowen Arrow
- Kodja and Maja
- Kroos Control
- Sancho Unchained
- Cheesy Iheanachos
- Schmeichel Jackson
- Curious Jorginho
- Olise Like a Sunday Morning
- Under My Cucurella
- Losing My Reguilon
- Earth, Wind & Maguire
- Benteke Fried Chicken
- The Best of Times, the Wirtz of Times
- Stranger Ings
- Howe Toon Is Now
- On Me Gedson
- Berge King
- Botman and Robin
- Gayle Force Win
- Angus Gunns & Roses
- Sarri Not Sarri
- Guardians of the Gulasci
- Pique Blinders
- Sterling Silver
- Krul Intentions
- Mbappe Feet
- Itsy Bitsy Chiellini
- Hotel? Thiago
- Schick’s Creek
- Havertz Your Way
- Fornals Attire
- Bangers and Rashford
- Don't Look Back Tanganga
- Castagne Me Now
- Shaw Thing
- TenHager, Better, Faster Stronger
- Pedri Dish
- Elneny and the Jets
- Tuchel For School
- McGinn and Tonic
- Raya Sunshine
- Some People Think Dendonckers
- Klopps and Robbos
- Minority Laporte
- DoDoDo Come On And Do Lokonga
- What's Love Gotze Do With It?
- Pjanic! At The Disco
- Rodri, You Plonker
- Rubber Digne Rapids
- Daylight Ribery
- Haalandaise Sauce
- Matty Cash in the Attic
- Old Havertz Kai Hard
- Out On Bale
- Singing In Va Rane
- Benrahmarama
- Drinkwater Not Koke
- Wind Beneath My Mings
- Crouch Potatoes
- Tomiyasu, I Can Boogie
- Isco Inferno
- Soucek Mate
- No Time To Divan Toney
- Backstreet Moyes
- Saint-Maximin Points
- Klich and Collect
- Hakuna Mateta
- Better Call Saúl
- Salt & Pepe
- Moura The Explorer
- Rice Rice Bebe
- Diaz Nother Day
- Heung Like A Horse
- Targett Practice
- It’s Britney, Klich
- Knowing Me, Knowing You Zaha
- Koch Au Van
- AbraDubravka
Some based on legends
Hmmmm... Not all puns are good puns, are they? But some are so ruddy awful, they're good (that's not a John Ruddy pun).
- Romeu & Houllier
- One Size Fitz Hall
- The Neville Wears Prada
- Fiddler on the Huth
- I’mLovinEngelsInstead
- Love & Cesc & Matic
- Up The Duffy
- Rodallega Bombs
- Arteta The Neville You Jo
- Mandalorian Wright
- Keane As Mustard
- TierneyOfEverything
- Dunk Your Busquets
- Anelka Skelter
- Put Johans Up For De Cruyff
- The Wenger Boys
Some based on clubs
- Norfolk n’ Good
- Bayer Neverlosin'
- Real SoSoBad
- Inter Yermam
- AC a little silhouetto of Milan
- Fiorentina Turner
- Champagne SuperRovers
- Expected Toulouse
- Covid VARiant
- Borussia Teeth
- Bayern Bru
- Bilbao Baggins
- Imaginary Madrid
- Pfizer Chiefs
- Sexandthe City
- Ajax Trees Down
And the rude ones
There's always one.
- The VARginas
- Exeter Gently
- Your Mum’s Zohore
- Dijk in Diaz
- Leavemyarselona
- WetAssPukki
- Get Your Koch Out
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