Pellegrini Out! Pep Out! Everyone Out!

The word on the mean, polluted, traffic-clogged streets of Madrid on Monday was that Florentino II was not a happy presidential bunny after the previous night’s defeat of Real to Sevilla, and definitely did not take the 2-1 setback on the chins.

It seems that Pérez did not so much throw his toys out of the pram as bash his super-duper PS3 with a mallet in the manner of a spoilt seven-year-old megabrat failing, once again, at the second stage of SpuzzBang 4.

And this is reflected in Tuesday’s leads in both Marca and Sport who report - the former hinting, the other declaring - that Manuel Pellegrini’s Bernabeu days are already numbered due to poor home performances, the rotation of his expensively purchased stars and the Third Choice Chilean’s insistence at playing Raúl, a player Pérez simply doesn’t like.

The biggest winner from this crazy Castle Greyskull kerfuffle is La Liga Loca, which may soon be spared from having to write about football - a fairly dull process - to get down and dirty in some sauce and scandal which has been so desperately lacking so far this season.

So, in the spirit of Florentino Pérez, the blog calls on all presidents of la Liga to sack their coaches for no good reason, starting with....

Pep Guardiola - Just for the look on his face as Joan Laporta marches into his office and tells him to pack up his stupid cardigans and get out of Catalunya by nightfall.

But, Pep being Pep - the coolest man in the universe - the Barça coach would merely shrug nonchalantly De Niro-style, sit tight on his pay-off and have his pick of any position in the world next summer.

Miguel Angel Lotina - A journo from the Basque Country once told the blog that the current Deportivo boss is so unrelentingly miserable that during a spell at Real Sociedad, even the happiest hacks would want to take a bath with a toaster after just 10 minutes in his company.

If Super Depor are currently fourth, just imagine where they could be with a happy, clappy soul in charge of the side. Like Luis Aragonés, perhaps.

Abel Resino - Should be in a kiosk selling Marca, not appearing in it.

The Atlético manager is a gravel-voiced, menacing, scarey mofo whose only achievement in his short spell at the Vicente Calderón is having made a previously terrible defence even worse and moved Diego Forlán into midfield.

Should be instantly sacked and replaced by Bernardo Schuster who La Liga Loca saw at Getafe’s Coliseum stadium on Sunday, and is said to be looking to continue on his quest to manage every club in Madrid.

Ernesto Valverde - Yes, the Villarreal manager may have taken Espanyol to the UEFA Cup final - an act today that would almost certainly prove the existence of God.

And yes, he may have won the double at Olympiakos. But, Merciful Zeus, how can you play six games with Rossi, Llorente, Senna, Pires and Cazorla in the side and STILL not win a game. Half-wit.

Cuco Ziganda - The only goal the Xerez manager’s team has scored in six games so far was a clear handball. A coach and side so useless that Sunday’s referee took pity on the pathetic pairing and allowed it.

Should be fired immediately and replaced by Jack Bauer.

Michel - La Liga Loca wants the Getafe boss gone, gone, gone.

Mainly because he’s not Michael Laudrup - a capital crime in the blog’s world - but also due to his continuing insistence in playing the totally hopeless Adrían in midfield - a footballer who also happens to be his son.

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