QPR new boy Loic Remy promises 'œsome kind of spree'

France striker set to make headlines

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New QPR striker Loic Remy has pledged to fans that he will go on 'œsome kind of spree' while at Loftus Road, causing a flurry of speculation as to exactly what sort of wild, unrestrained activity the 26-year old has in mind.

"œObviously, we'™re hoping it'™s a scoring spree," manager Harry Redknapp told FourFourTwo. "œTo be fair to Loic, he'™s not ruled out a scoring spree, but fans have to be aware that other kinds of spree are also possible."

Should Remy'™s spree not be of the scoring variety, Redknapp expressed the hope that he might go on a training spree, or a healthy eating spree.

"A shopping spree wouldn't be ideal, but we could cope with that, what with Westfield round the corner," said the ex-Tottenham boss. "œA drinking spree would definitely be bad. So would a crime spree. A killing spree would be the worst, because to be honest, the squad'™s down to the bare bones already."

"Of course, it could be a completely new kind of spree, like a chess spree, or a learning the clarinet spree," the plasticine-faced tactician continued. "œYou never can tell with sprees."

The striker's tendency to make vaguely threatening promises had seen him frozen out at former club Marseille, where sprees are banned, along with all kinds of mongering, whether fear, hate, war, or fish.

Redknapp himself confirmed that he planned to continue QPR'™s spending spree, while expressing confidence that the troubled West London side were getting closer and closer to 'œsome form of glut.'