The Back of the Net team give their unique take on the opening game of Euro 2012 - Poland 1-1 Greece
The opening match of the European Championships of 2012 completely failed to live up to its billing, as Poland and Greece played out a 1-1 draw that was characterised by a dearth of highly-anticipated timewasting and a complete lack of unwatchably negative anti-football.
The game was hotly tipped as one to watch by killjoys and insomniacs, mindful of PolandâÂÂs memorably average squad and GreeceâÂÂs dazzling reputation in the eyes of expert masochists.
But instead, viewers were served up two goals, two red cards and a missed penalty, leaving many feeling theyâÂÂd been misled by the pre-match billing.
âÂÂAnyone who expected us to play an ugly but effective style will be disappointed,â said GreeceâÂÂs manager, Fernando Santos. âÂÂAnd that includes me.aâÂÂ
SantosâÂÂs sentiments were echoed by his Polish counterpart, Franciszek Smuda. âÂÂAnyone who watched Poland at Euro 2008 knows what weâÂÂre capable of, namely disjointed, uninspiring dross,â he said. âÂÂDid you see us at the last World Cup? Of course not, we werenâÂÂt there. We won three games in qualifying, and two of those were against San Marino.âÂÂ
Robert LewandowskiâÂÂs 17th-minute goal came as a surprise to no-one, except those whoâÂÂd previously seen Poland play, and Dimitris SalpigidisâÂÂs 51st minute equaliser was a slap in the face for everyone who thought Greece could only threaten from set-plays.
Mindful of having let their audience down, the Poles were in contrite mood after the match.
âÂÂI have to say, one performance like this is not a reflection of our true quality,â Smuda told FourFourTwo.com. âÂÂIâÂÂm confident that things will return to normal against Russia on Tuesday.âÂÂ
Erratic Spanish referee Carlos Velasco Carballo was also praised for making a potentially dire game more entertaining, and consequently looks set to be appointed to EnglandâÂÂs clash with Ukraine.
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
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