Things are now getting so desperate at AC Milan that the fallen giants of Serie A cannot wait until David Beckham parks up at the San Siro.
Anything will do to lift the mood, which is currently as depressing as the weather which hangs over the Rossoneri camp following Sunday eveningâÂÂs 4-2 mauling at Juventus.
It wasnâÂÂt as if Juve looked like genuine title-contenders - although they thoroughly deserved their victory - it was how woefully inept Carlo AncelottiâÂÂs side were in every area of the pitch.
Thwack! Amauri pops in Juve's fourth
The one thing that Becks will bring from the sunny climes of California, apart from a winning smile, is a bit of good old-fashioned grit and determination.
Claudio RanieriâÂÂs men have that spirit by the pasta-dish load and itâÂÂs hard to think that just a few months ago there were calls for the coachâÂÂs head on a plate.
All in all, it was without doubt the most exciting, drama-filled weekend of the season so far... a throwback to the heady days when Italy held the title of âÂÂthe most beautiful championship in the world.âÂÂ
41 goals in total â a record for the campaign so far, with the top-two scoring four apiece, a last-gasp win for AS Roma and the comeback of the season by Lazio against Udinese.
Inter may have stuck four past Chievo but the leagueâÂÂs bottom side made Jose MourinhoâÂÂs work their little cotton socks off.
Having said that Zlatan Ibrahimovic must have tuned into Barcelona-Real Madrid on Saturday night and decided that anything Leo Messi can do, he can do better.
The same goes for Francesco Totti, against Cagliari, who caressed a chip of such tenderness that there wasnâÂÂt a dry eye in the Stadio Olimpico when the ball gently kissed the top of the bar.
Mirko VucinicâÂÂs goal-celebrations after netting the winner were less beguiling: the Montenegrin stripping down to his shorts before racing off like the office drunk at the Christmas party.
He was having such a stinker that he can be forgiven getting all tired and emotional.
Vucinic goes all gooey-eyed after grabbing winner
The sky-blue half of the capital did a Liverpool at Udinese, where having trailed 3-0 they clawed their way back through sheer force of will, and a bit of Goran Pandev/Mauro Zarate magic.
Equally enchanting were Antonio Cassano, Ezequiel Lavezzi, Adriano Mutu and Alberto Giardino who - all twinkled-toed and magnificent in the wide range of climatic conditions - inflicted their wrath upon grounds up and down the country.
What a shame then that Adriano isnâÂÂt around to enjoy the party.
Banished from training for apparently being tired and emotional after a big night out with Maicon Douglas, the thick-headed Brazilian slinked out of the country on Saturday, bound for a flight back to South America.
ItâÂÂs doubtful weâÂÂll see him dancing on the tables in Milan again and the latest word is that Inter are waiting for Manchester CityâÂÂs new backers to produce a wad of cash, or if Chelsea are dim enough, to use him as a makeweight to reunite Didier Drogba with Jose Mourinho.
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