Allardyce cleared out the beer fridge, West Ham realise

West Ham’s owners were left red-faced when offering Slaven Bilic a beverage, writes Back of the Net...

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Reports suggest that Sam Allardyce left the Boleyn Ground with at least 90 per cent of the club’s beer supply.

West Ham parted company with the Dudley-born tactician after he was deemed to have failed to embrace 'the West Ham way', a complicated philosophical notion that involves playing expansive, fast-flowing yet ultimately futile football for a number of decades.

As Allardyce seemed to leave on amicable terms, club owners David Gold and David Sullivan were left reeling when they discovered that their former manager had meticulously emptied their prized beer fridge, leaving one solitary can of Red Stripe.

“David [Gold or Sullivan] was mortified when he realised he didn’t have anything to offer the potential next gaffer,” an insider at West Ham told FourFourTwo.

“He’d given Bilic a tour, really emphasising the club’s ambition, and he’d strongly hinted that the Croatian should expect a wide choice of continental bottled lagers.

“David [Gold or Sullivan] hadn’t checked the fridge but he’d have been confident of finding a lager that gives the illusion of sophistication despite being fairly run of the mill [Peroni] because everyone knows that Allardyce only ever drank bitter; he regarded Guinness as exotic. So David [Gold or Sullivan] was mortified to find that [Big] Sam had taken the lot, it was a clearly hostile gesture.”

West Ham’s flustered owners were forced to encourage Bilic to imagine the kind of beer it might be possible to buy in the future, indicating that Staropramen or Estrella Damm would be a very real possibility, with Belgian Trappist ales being more of a five-year plan.

“I wasn’t that surprised Allardyce took the beer,” our source continued. “I saw him loading his car up with stationery, light bulbs and tea bags, plus his impressive cheese board was conspicuously absent from the canteen. He did leave Kevin Nolan behind, though, strangely.”

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