Blame game continues after Montjuic mayhem

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Sometimes a bile-letting bout of finger-pointing and blame-gaming can be both a useful and entertaining exercise.

After all, the Jack Bauer side to La Liga Loca doesn’t think there has been nearly enough cattle-prod poking of those responsible for the hell-in-a-handcart financial meltdown the world is currently enjoying.

If outright torture is perhaps going too far for some lily-livered liberals then maybe the guilty parties could instead be introduced to public stocks of a very non-financial kind?

As to be expected after Saturday’s Montjuic mayhem, the accusing and abusing is still rumbling on in Catalunya.

The lazy stereotyping by the blog, but all too true Mediterranean ‘it’s not my fault’ shrug is being used to full effect as those involved in the foul business are fingered for their role in the rumpus.

AS’ Alfredo Relaño is torn between his natural dislike of Barcelona and his permanent pomposity and attacks Perico president, Daniel Sánchez Llibre for his “moral cowardice” after the game due his spittle-flying attack on the referee, the Barcelona supporters and, rather improbably, S-Club 7.

The Madrid paper’s editor also wags a tutting finger at the Barcelona players and the celebration of their two goals.

“How can we warn, and I’m not saying punish, illustrious personalities such as Henry, Eto’o, Messi, Marquez and even Piqué?” asked Alfredo in a rhetorical mood.

‘Don’t do it at all’ was the message from Carles Puyol on Monday, who argued that he could not see what all the fuss was about.

“We celebrated because we were happy,” argued the Culé captain, who condemned the violence but also used the famous ‘Betis defence’ that “it doesn’t just happen here, it happens everywhere” to explain away the mayhem.

Pique and Puyol cause a stir celebrating last-gasp goal 

Sport director, Santi Nolla is also caught between two camps but seems to have plonked himself down with the Pericos by arguing that “the referee punished Espanyol too much with the sending off of Nené” and demands that “this must be the last derby where the violent Boixos can go.”

Down the coast in Valencia and Joaquín has been dropping hints the size of Maniche’s football shorts as to who was to blame for last season’s disappointing debacle.

From the safety of the top of the table and with a couple of decent performances under his Andalusian belt, the winger explained that “now the coach knows what’s what and doesn’t go about making things up.”

And as for the players who were rocking the Mestalla boat most last season, Joaquín would prefer to keep Mum - although a very different Mum to the one who reportedly breast fed him until he was six.

“It’s not that anyone especially caused problems, although Marco Caneira had issues with certain players and Cañizares was apart from the rest of the team,” recalled the midfielder.

“But you can’t just point them out as the only guilty ones,” explained Joaquín whilst pointing them out as the only guilty ones.

Tuesday’s Marca couldn’t give too hoots about Espanyol, Barcelona, Valencia or anyone else considering Real Madrid are in action against Zenit St. Petersburg.

And in an especially bipolar edition of the paper, the front cover boasts that Madrid have the “best attack and best defence in Europe,” but admit on page three that Bernd Schuster’s men have not won away in Europe for two years.

In breaking with recent tradition, the Real Madrid squad will not be travelling to Russia in the creaky old, found-in-the-desert, not allowed to fly at night, La Saeta - their much heralded Super Jet from last season.

The Airbus 320 - Real's aeroplane of choice for 2008

After all, it was a plane so decrepit that some players had to be carried on after being tempted by glasses of milk laced with sleeping pills.

Unofficial club spokesman Roberto Gómez, writing in Marca, says that Madrid are about to lease a brand new Airbus 320 - to be called ‘La Saeta’ for 600,000 euros a year - a plane that “will have a TV in each seat,” according to the easily pleased Marca man.

Alas, there is no explanation in the paper as to what has happened to the La Saeta version one. But expect parts of it to be found in your next refrigerator.