Former Celtic manager Lennon outlawed mobile phones, bobble hats, passing backwards and all types of cheese but medium cheddar on his first day in charge.
“Under D-Free, sorry, Dougie Freedman, we seemed to be able to do a lot more stuff, like chatting, or trying to find a through-ball, or blinking,” an unnamed Wanderer told FourFourTwo.
“Wait, did I use the past perfect there? No, but I did there. Didn’t I? That’ll be a fine.”
Much of Lennon’s career has been dedicated to combatting nonsense, a passion which made his departure from Scottish football inevitable.
“We can’t discuss relegation,” the player admitted. “Or promotion. Or staying in mid-table. Or Strictly Come Dancing.
“If this carries on, it will be difficult to talk at all... hang on, is that the future conditional?”
