For once La Liga Loca is in full agreement with both Madridista papers - José Mourinho must come to the Santiago Bernabeu.
But rather than waiting until the start of the summer, the blog is insisting that the Inter coach be bundled into the back of a van, driven to a large stack of cash and told to get to work, straight away.
Of course, the Inter boss would be gone by the first week of May having played Cristiano Ronaldo as a full-back, impaled GutiâÂÂs head on the training ground gates, ripped out Jorge ValdanoâÂÂs tongue and hacked down Florentino PérezâÂÂs door with an axe.
But what fun, what sport, what chaos the Portuguese provocateur would bring in that all too short spell!
ItâÂÂs fair to say that Mourinho is the Dalek to BarcaâÂÂs Doctor Who, the Darth Vader to their Catalan Force, the Kurgan to Connor MacLeod of the Camp Nou.
"Hey Luis, when do they start throwing the pig heads?"
Due to taunts about theatrics whilst at Chelsea and Inter Milan inferences that Barcelona are very bad losers but very good cheats - a malfunctioning sprinkler system and Sergio Busquets certainly helps his case - Mourinho was already loathed and despised in the Catalan capital.
That hatred has gone up another notch, if that is at all possible, after a wonderfully mischievous display from the troublemaker on the touchline and 94 minutes of what the Spanish snootily call âÂÂanti-footballâ on the pitch.
Before Wednesday nightâÂÂs grudge match kicked off, Barcelona were demanding satisfaction in a pistols-drawn footballing duel at dawn, where the most honourable gentleman would win. Mourinho answered their request by sending a Tomahawk missile, instead.
NEWS:Ten-man Inter reach Madrid final
Barça won the encounter in statistics, with 75% of possession and 60 crosses made, but only managed four shots on target - with one of those being Gerard PiqueâÂÂs offside effort, cancelling out Diego MilitoâÂÂs illegal goal from the first tie, something the Catalan press are largely keen to overlook.
The reluctant Catalan conclusion that the rightful winners over the two legs were Inter has left the Barcelona press somewhat stuck for excuses for the defeat and having to take out their frustrations on Mourinho himself and his dastardly ways for ruining their Bernabeu dreams.
âÂÂ[Inter] didnâÂÂt come to play football, they came to destroy,â grumbled Josep Maria Casanovas in Sport. âÂÂMourinho is the cornerstone of anti-football, a born provocateur and unscrupulous,â continued the Catalan columnist in a rant that may be approaching admiration.
Jose's Mick Channon celebration went down a storm...
âÂÂWith another referee in Milan, Barça would now have been through,â is the final riposte from Casanovas, presumably made with his arms-folded and bottom-lip sticking out.
âÂÂHow would you define the behaviour of Mourinho?â asks Mundo Deportivo in one of their many, many polls having been set up to act as on-line therapy for the paperâÂÂs suffering readership.
This particular survey appears to have been taken over by Madrid and Espanyol fans indulging in a spot of Schadenfreude, considering 51% describe olâ MouâÂÂs conduct as âÂÂexcellentâÂÂ, with just 30% finding the humble and reserved Inter coach to have been in any way provocative.
Over in Capital City, AS note in their match report that âÂÂInter will be in the final, but they did it without attacking, without a single offensive ideaâÂÂ, somewhat overlooking the three goals they scored in the first leg.
GALLERY:Barca 1-0 Inter
Meanwhile, editor Alfredo Relaño concedes that Mourinho must be an attractive prospect for Madrid, not least for his leadership qualities.
Marca have been waving the flag for José for some time, and their man love has predictably grown ever more strong now that the Madridista fraternity will be spared the sight of Barça fans celebrating at RealâÂÂs traditional party seat at Cibeles.
âÂÂThe author of that work of art (in Barcelona) left a signature, one José Mourinho. A geniusâ claimed ThursdayâÂÂs editorial on a display that will leave Florentino Pérez dreading a Madrid-less Bernabeu-based Champions League final a little bit less than he would have been ten days previously.
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