The permanent peril of Spain’s second choice Sergios

If you have a high tolerance for flamenco-based sonic torture and incomprehensible accents, then a spell in the city of Seville is the most fun you can have aside from a date with Deportivo.

Unless you happen to be managing the city’s two main football clubs, that is. Or José Antonio Reyes. But more on that woeful winger later.

Ever since Spain’s second choice Sergios, Paco Chaparro of Betis and Manolo Jiménez, were appointed to their prestigious posts last season, both have been as safe and secure as a lamp chop in Maniche’s larder.

Both trainers were in charge of the respective club’s B teams - although La Liga Loca suspects the cheap-as-chips Chaparro was actually found wandering around his local Poundland and given the job - and both replaced bigger name coaches that were either sacked or buggered off to Spurs.


Chaparro: Two defeats from the toaster

Both managers are also facing tense, testy weeks that could see a fistful of firings at the end of it - although this wouldn’t be the first time La Liga Loca has shot this particular bolt over the past 12 months.

According to Marca, a minion returned from the seventh circle of hell where, club godfather, Darth de Lopera likes to winter with a message that if Betis do not win Wednesday’s Copa Del Rey clash against Mallorca and the weekend’s tie with Getafe, then the 745-year-old Chaparro is toast. Potentially, in a literal sense.

Since starting to look half decent towards the end of last year, Betis have since lost four of their last five league games and are currently 1-0 down in the cup tie against their Balearic opposition.

However, this is not that surprising considering poor old Paco has been operating without any strikers for some time now, since the injury and subsequent exiling of Edu and the fact that Hugo ‘The Tank’ Pavone has done a decent impression of the hot water variety of his nickname in his season and a half in Andalusia.

There are rumours brewing that Zaragoza’s Ricardo Oliveira may be making a return to the club to give some zip to the strike force, but that seems highly unlikely considering he did not leave Seville in the best of terms. Like most Betis players, as a matter of fact.

Paco, himself, feels that there is no cavalry coming to bail him out, but has argued proudly that “the team is not as bad as people are saying.”


Bug-eyed master, Manolo Jiménez

Sevilla’s Manolo Jiménez is also facing the axe for the umpteenth time, after last Sunday’s rubbish home defeat to Racing, a first leg loss to Valencia in the Copa Del Rey and through repeatedly boring the buttocks off fans and TV viewers who are pretty much privy to every one of their god awful games.

Jiménez - whose main managerial tactic appears to be looking bug-eyed and angry - has the chance to postpone his execution by turning around a 3-2 deficit in the Sánchez-Pizjuán on Thursday night against a Valencia side looking for a morale-boosting win after flushing their last two league fixtures down the dunny.

And this Sevilla-based silliness brings us to a quick update on the wonderful world of José Antonio Reyes, last seen going on loan from Atlético Madrid to Benfica, currently being managed with some success by Quique Sánchez Flores.

But with little help from the former Arsenal winger, it would appear.


Reyes: Benfica's answer to the Karate Kid

“He has started a number of times and his performance level has been zero,” moaned the former Valencia coach.

At least he is showing signs of improvement.

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