Spain senses the paw of Platini in Anfield agony
When Martin Hansson Ã¢ÂÂ or Ã¢ÂÂthe SwedeÃ¢ÂÂ, as many papers are spitting on Wednesday morning, as if his nationality was relevant in some way Ã¢ÂÂ signalled for a penalty against AtlÃÂ©tico described on Radio 5 as Ã¢ÂÂthe softestÃ¢ÂÂ, La Liga Loca had a funny feeling that the decision would be about as popular in SpainÃ¢ÂÂs sporting press as Lewis Hamilton.
Ã¢ÂÂI imagine that Platini and co will be spending the week in forums for those who love conspiracies,Ã¢ÂÂ sighed a weary and deflated IÃÂ±aki DÃÂaz-Guerra in AS.
And judging by a quick glance at the kingdom of the crazies, the land of the loonies, the abode of the bewildered and bothered Ã¢ÂÂ otherwise known as Marca Ã¢ÂÂ itÃ¢ÂÂs clear that the paper felt the Gallic touch of a certain Frenchman during TuesdayÃ¢ÂÂs Anfield outrage.
Ã¢ÂÂAnother theft from Platini,Ã¢ÂÂ screamed MarcaÃ¢ÂÂs front page. Ã¢ÂÂNo Torres, no AgÃÂ¼ero and no shame!Ã¢ÂÂ raged the match report. Ã¢ÂÂAlthough AtlÃÂ©tico were robbed, they leave with their heads held high,Ã¢ÂÂ chin-jutted the paperÃ¢ÂÂs editorial Ã¢ÂÂ and for once it wasnÃ¢ÂÂt talking about their Scouse hosts' somewhat unfortunate reputation for light-fingeredness.
Look! He's with Calderon! That proves it!
AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid are hopping mad. And they are going to stay hopping mad longer than the most rootinÃ¢ÂÂ, tootinÃ¢ÂÂ Republican rustler in the West. Ã¢ÂÂFirst they close the CalderÃÂ³n, then they take away our coach for two games, now they give a penalty that never was,Ã¢ÂÂ raged an almost skeletal Francisco Pernia, whose lunch money is surely being nicked by Maniche.
ItÃ¢ÂÂs a position even Steven Gerrard had sympathy with. Ã¢ÂÂIf it happened the other end, we would be livid,Ã¢ÂÂ confessed the Scouse skipper in a delayed display of honesty.
Barcelona also came out of their Champions League encounter with just one measly point to show for their eveningÃ¢ÂÂs efforts, this time against against Basel. And yet again, the result has brought out the worst in those Catalan crackpots at Mundo Deportivo and Sport Ã¢ÂÂ the latter of which ran a campaign on Tuesday to get fans to the stadium, promising another win.
Ã¢ÂÂThis should serve as lessonÃ¢ÂÂ, wrote LluÃÂs Mascaro, impossibly smug while back-pedalling. Ã¢ÂÂThere is no such thing as a small enemy.Ã¢ÂÂ And thatÃ¢ÂÂs a message that Pep Guardiola and Joan Laporta have been trying to spread for some time, whilst those empty-headed numbskulls in the local press were busying themselves trying to find a suitably pompous name for their now fallen angels.
Basel faulty: What's the Catalan word for "hubris"?
On the subject of professional idiocy, RamÃÂ³n CalderÃÂ³n has made his move in the latest round of ping-pong paranoia that the potty pumped-up president has been playing with Laporta.
Having had a bit of a lie-down and bed bath after last ThursdayÃ¢ÂÂs rather public breakdown, CalderÃÂ³n went on Spanish radio to continue his increasingly childish but incredibly funny spat with Sir Alex Ferguson Ã¢ÂÂ a clash where there can be only one, Scottish, winner.
Ã¢ÂÂHeÃ¢ÂÂs a little envious of the nine European Cups we have won,Ã¢ÂÂ boasted CalderÃÂ³n, stretching the word Ã¢ÂÂweÃ¢ÂÂ to breaking point. Ã¢ÂÂHe sees that the trophies did not go to him and that he wonÃ¢ÂÂt have time to obtain themÃ¢ÂÂ, continued raving RamÃÂ³n.
On a bit of a roll, Madrid's main man then set his sights on his arch enemy, Florentino Perez Ã¢ÂÂ a man who reportedly fancies a return to the expense account-funded fun to be had at Castle Greyskull: Ã¢ÂÂHe's the one who abandoned the club and allowed there to be four presidents in six months!Ã¢ÂÂ cursed Calderon.
Of course, the present incumbent would never do anything so rash. Aside from sack a title-winning manager of course... and drive David Beckham from the club... and...