1) “THEY CAN DIE!”
To say Atletico Madrid supremo Jesus Gil was a man who struggled to contain his emotions would be a gross understatement. Shortly after having a pacemaker fitted in 2003, Gil ranted on-air that: “there are too many bloody passengers in this team! They can die!” When told by the presenter that it might be good for his ticker to relax, he responded with the most physiologically impossible nonsense since Roy Keane told Mick McCarthy to “stick it up your bollocks”. “They can stick my heart up their arses!” thundered Gil. He died a year later.
2) Bates berates Roman’s mate
Looking like Santa’s furious, red-faced uncle, Ken Bates’ stint as Chelsea chairman was never short of scandal, and at a boozy £35-a-head supper club in 2008, the pressure of Roman Abramovich’s attempts to squeeze him out of Stamford Bridge became too much. Bates ranted that Roman’s deal-maker Pini Zahavi was “a d***head”: he was handed a one-way Tube ticket out of Fulham Broadway shortly afterwards.
3) A sorry apology
Earlier this year, irascible Steaua Bucharest chairman Gigi Becali hosted a press conference to clear the air with “everyone he had offended this year”. He started with a sensitive plea to sexual minorities. “I apologise to them. It’s their problem, their disease, not mine.” That sorted, he moved on to the fans. “I’m sorry. Apart from the ones who called for me to die just before Easter. They are possessed by Satan.” Job done.
4) Pay up Pompey, Pompey pay up…
After picking up 11 points from a possible 45 in March 2002, Pompey owner Milan Mandaric took drastic action against men he labelled as “non-triers” – by refusing to pay them. “We won only one match in February and that was against Coventry,” raved the Serbian tycoon. “I regard it as extortion”. The PFA’s Gordon Taylor was unimpressed. “It’s like going back to the dark ages,” he said. Mandaric’s response? “The only mistake I made was making it public.”
5) “You’re a bunch of chuckers”
Life was never dull at Darlington with George Reynolds at the helm – and Mrs R had a crazy-talking potty mouth on her, too. In 2002 she turned up at a fans’ forum, but failed to win hearts or minds when she hinted that the Darlo players had thrown matches. The players stormed out, but her husband was in no mood to placate them. “If these players don’t like what I or my wife has said, they can f*** off,” he grumbled. Which they already had.
6) Cowlings’ Canary-bating
In June 2010, the Colchester chairman Robbie Cowling was drawn into a barney with Norwich City fan Keith Armour after the Canaries poached former United manager Paul Lambert. The United supremo was determined to have the last word. “Despite the tone of your email message I certainly wouldn’t wish any ill fortune on you,” he wrote. “You have the ill fortune of supporting Norwich City to deal with, and that must be a fate worse than anything I could suffer. Up yours, Robbie.”
7) Hammam’s rat pack
Sam Hammam believed Cardiff City had been savaged unnecessarily by the media after their FA Cup tie against Leeds in January 2002. The Lebanese lunatic took his revenge by publishing a bizarre six-page pamphlet in which he branded them “vile, cruel, vicious and biased”. He finished by saying: “Think of all the people who tried to unfairly hurt us, as rats. They are pests we cannot ignore”, before scuttling off to Rentokil.
8) “A Chicken Ceasar ballbag, please”
'Colourful' Palermo owner Maurizio Zamparini rarely disappoints – or engages his brain – when he opens his mouth. He offended the whole of Romania when referring to Adrian Mutu as a “crafty gypsy” in March 2007, but launched his most memorable tirade in 2003 when, after a lean spell, he announced he was in the mood to castrate his players and eat their testicles “in my salad”. Chewy, but at least he’d get plenty of protein.
9) Mad Vlad
Even those accustomed to the foibles of Hearts’ Lithuanian owner Vladimir Romanov were shocked by one of his rants. A statement on the club website read: “Every year, Hearts fights to be in the top three, but in the last 12 games of [last] season it was almost like someone replaced the team with a different one. Whose fault is that? Players? Managers? Or it is mafia?” Bernardo Provenzano, the head of the Sicilian Costa Nostra, was unavailable for comment about whether he’d really nobbled the Jambos' left-back’s hamstring because he’s a massive Celtic fan.
10) Deadly Doug takes aim
He may have been 80, but Doug Ellis was never one to mellow with age. After Aston Villa narrowly missed out on a UEFA Cup place following a 2-0 defeat to Manchester United in May 2004, club boss David O’Leary thought the chairman had come into the changing room to congratulate the lads on their climb up the table. Ellis had other ideas, fuming that the players were “costing the club millions”. What a guy.
