1 February 2008
"I dreamed about being a dwarf"
1 February 2008
"People always laugh when El Hadji Diouf is around. But they’re laughing at him, not with him."
31 January 2008
"Until you're 30, work on your weaknesses; then work on your strengths"
12 January 2008
"A petting zoo? What’s that? A Stan Collymore dogging thing?"
1 January 2008
"The FA cost me £1.5m and my marriage, so I ran round the car park with knickers on my head shouting 'You’re a bunch of tw*ts'"
21 November 2007
"You can’t switch off for a minute. Every time you get the ball, there’s a chance of scoring..."
6 September 2007
"Liverpool spoilt the illusion I could break records"
1 September 2007
"He’s not done it for as long as the rest of my team, but you’re a fool if you don’t think he will continue on the up."
1 September 2007
"I wanted to be a wrestler, but it's probably a bit late now..."
1 September 2007
"What is a Scottish egg?"


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