When the immensely unhinged LluÃÂs Mascaró, writing in WednesdayâÂÂs edition of Barça-barmy Sport, declared in a fit of hysteria that the Copa del Rey final was âÂÂa battle between good and evil, between generosity and meanness, between love and hate,â LLL realised things were going to be more than a little fruity both on and off the pitch before, during and after âÂÂClásico II - The Cup FinalâÂÂ.
But that didn't mean the sight of Alvaro Arbeloa treading on David Villa and then dragging him to his feet in the first half of MadridâÂÂs eventual 1-0 win came as any less of a shock - and it was just the first of many spats and spits between the two teams on a fractious night at the Mestalla.
Happily, the nation's potty press provided a sense of normality, both pre and post game, fixing bayonets and taking up their usual defensive positions.
âÂÂMou, this is why they brought you in!â was MarcaâÂÂs front cover on Wednesday confirming Florentino PérezâÂÂs newly adopted, self-preserving policy of âÂÂwin-at-any-costs-you-lumps-do-you-know-how-much-of-the-clubâÂÂs-cash-IâÂÂve-blown?âÂÂ
Unsurprisingly it was Marca who were the most enthusiastic when it came to post-match cheerleading, with their beloved Madrid having won the newly-squashed Copa del Rey for the first time in 18 years, a moment that brought an estimated 100,000 fans to Cibeles to greet their heroes at at 4.30am - but only once the trophy had been rescued from under the front wheel of the double-decker bus.
However, in a particularly melodramatic article, the paperâÂÂs Madridista-in-chief Eduardo Inda did not seem at all happy about the result.
âÂÂJuan Merengue is sad about what happened in Valencia. HeâÂÂs sad to see the Copa del Rey being lifted by a team that has destroyed the traditional values of Madridismo. HeâÂÂs sad because a team that allows Pepe and Khedira to play should not win anything. HeâÂÂs sad because Florentino Pérez, the worst president in the history of world football - or perhaps of the universe, has won his way.âÂÂ
But don't worry, the paperâÂÂs director was in fact making a rather clumsy attempt at sarcasm. Either that, or he is now a pile of ashes on top of an office chair having been on the wrong end of one of FlorentinoâÂÂs pin-sat death rays.
Inda has successfully mimicked the approach of the Catalan press on Thursday morning, who are in pouty, arms-folded, "we're not playing any more" mode, with SportâÂÂs headline pointing out that Madrid âÂÂhave the cup, but we have the leagueâÂÂ. âÂÂIn two matches, Barça must show why they are the most admired team in the world,â wrote Johan Vehils with another nauseating smug-fest among a series of articles that rambled on about anti-football and all the usual guff.
The orders from Sport's LluÃÂs Mascaró are considerably stronger. âÂÂMay nobody talk about the end of a cycle. May no-one from the Taliban media cavern say that the blaugrana project is over.â ItâÂÂs hard to know what Mascaró will do should anyone disobey his commands, as judging by the writerâÂÂs by-line photo, the columnist has the air of Hi-di-HiâÂÂs Jeffrey Fairbrother about him. But without the menace...
Mundo Deportivo are attempting to be a little more adult in the face of BarcelonaâÂÂs defeat, with ThursdayâÂÂs front cover looking towards the Champions League semi-finals their team are probably going to lose on away goals. âÂÂYesterday, Real Madrid won the cup. Congratulations. But it will be avenged,â warned Santi Nolla.
âÂÂMadrid are the cup champions after stopping Barça from scoring in 120 minutes of play. An achievement that must be recognised,â writes Miguel Rico in the nearest the Catalan media camp get to complimenting MourinhoâÂÂs successfully deployed tactics.
In the eyes of one Sport writer, the world is now being ruled by the forces of darkness, which would explain why so many people seem to be staying off the streets in the Spanish capital today - or it could just be down to the combination of a bank holiday and a lot of sore heads.
Regardless of that, the Catalan contingent can grumble all they like but it wonâÂÂt help Barcelona in the battle against MourinhoâÂÂs forces of Mordor. PepâÂÂs Dream Boys have now been stopped in their tracks by Madrid twice in the space of five days. Barcelona have about the same time to find a solution to prevent it from happening again.
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The âÂÂLLL Deserves a Bank Holiday Tooâ Mini Weekend Predictions
Saturday
Valencia v Real Madrid - Away Win
Barcelona v Osasuna - Home Win
Athletic Bilbao v Real Sociedad - Home win
Sunday
Mallorca v Team Dubai - Home win
Sporting v Espanyol - Draw
Hércules v Deportivo - Goalless Draw
Racing v Málaga - Away Win
Atlético v Levante - Home Win
Sevilla v Villarreal - Home win
Monday
Zaragoza v AlmerÃÂa - Home win
