The men from St Mary's haven't made a happy return to the Premier League thus far, as Back of the Net's Paul Watson explains...
Southampton manager Nigel Adkins has confessed he couldnÃ¢ÂÂt have had a worse start to the new Premier League campaign, while dodging the jaws of a savage hunting hound during a curtailed press conference this afternoon.
The fixture list was far from kind to Southampton, but even the most modest of expectations have so far proven too great. SaturdayÃ¢ÂÂs 6-1 trouncing at the hands of Arsenal has left the Premier League newcomers without a point to their name and with a big fat 16 in the goals against column, prompting Sky Sports to put an Ã¢ÂÂRÃ¢ÂÂ alongside their name as a Ã¢ÂÂtime saving measureÃ¢ÂÂ.
It all adds up to SouthamptonÃ¢ÂÂs worst start since the 1911-12 season, when their only copy of the fixture list was rendered illegible after being left in the chairmanÃ¢ÂÂs pocket when his trousers went in the wash, forcing the team to travel to every other league ground on match-day each week in the hope of finding their opponents.
To add to the SaintsÃ¢ÂÂ woes, talented forward Guly do Prado has been charged with drink driving, and now manager Adkins is facing an energy-sapping pursuit by a tireless opponent.
Ã¢ÂÂWe always knew that we would be up against it,Ã¢ÂÂ Adkins told FourFourTwo.com while hopping beyond the reach of the bloodhoundÃ¢ÂÂs jaws.
Ã¢ÂÂBut that said, I have been disappointed. I set a target that we would at least have a point by now, or have conceded fewer than 15 goals, or would have a kit that people recognise as ours and none of those things have happened.Ã¢ÂÂ
While Adkins is trying to remain positive, many feel that his squad is thin on top-level players and that the 47-year-old doesnÃ¢ÂÂt have what it takes to outrun a four-year-old bloodhound.
Ã¢ÂÂHeÃ¢ÂÂs got a decent bite in there,Ã¢ÂÂ Adkins admitted, twisting his leg in a vain attempt to release the bloodhoundÃ¢ÂÂs vice-like grip. Ã¢ÂÂBut thereÃ¢ÂÂs an awful lot of the season to go and, likewise, thereÃ¢ÂÂs an awful lot of Nigel Adkins still to be consumed.Ã¢ÂÂ
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
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