Brad Pitt, AC/DC and Peruvian porn stars - quotes of the season from Argentina

As Argentina celebrates its 200th birthday, the season has finally ground to halt.

The relegation playoffs were settled yesterday: Gimnasia ensured there’ll be a La Plata clásico by beating Atlético Rafaela for the second consecutive year. There was no such luck for Rosario Central, though, who lost to a side who sound more like the support act for Village People. All Boys are back in the big time...

All Argentine participation in the Libertadores ended at the quarter final stage last Thursday when Estudiantes went out of the competition in predictably acrimonious and aggressive fashion, and the league champions – Argentinos Juniors – have already lost their coach to Boca.

Before the World Cup occupies all attention, here’s a look back at some of the more telling quotes from the 2010 Clausura.

Under pressure

“We are aiming for a top five finish”Ex-River Plate coach Leo Astrada in the preseason. He was left the millionaires 16th. The club ended the season 13th.

“I never wanted to go, nor did I quit” Alfio Basile broke a four month silence by speaking to the press in early January. By late January he was gone.

“My dream is to win a league title with Boca” Abel Alves takes over from Basile. His record included two wins in 13, before being shown the door.

“When the shit comes hard, you have to grab it with your mouth”Then-San Lorenzo coach Diego Simeone explains his philosphy after losing the clásico to Racing

“There are rules that need to be followed, or else this will turn into a Roman Circus” Vélez coach Ricardo Gareca fights a lone crusade for consistency amongst referees

“Fatty. Gay. Druggy.” Ricardo Caruso Lombardi slings some mud at Omar Asad while his Tigre side are thrashed by Godoy Cruz.

“It’s like I’ve got an ‘available’ sign on me. Tigre called me, Godoy Cruz called me. I want a rest” In-demand Leonardo Madelón was unable to say no the third time of asking, but still couldn’t save Rosario Central.

The Big Two’s big two

“I feel ashamed of how Boca is playing”Juan Román Riquelme on the situation at Boca

“It’s as if I’m a disaster, and all the other players are legends” Ariel Ortega suggests his 6 am car-crashing antics aren’t the only reason River Plate are in dire straits.

“I wanted to ask Palermo to swap shirts but I was too shy.” Tigre’s Carlos Luna after his hattrick against Boca - so shy that he then framed his own shirt and hung it up on his living room wall.

“God is a Palermo fan. If someone else had scored the goal against Peru, it would have been given offside, but God looked the other way”Hugo ‘El Loco’ Gatti on the real reason Argentina qualified for the World Cup

The Lucky Tolo Gallego

“When your a-hole opens up there’s nothing big enough to give it to you with”Eduardo Coudet implies Tolo Gallego is lucky, adding VAT onto a local expression. Ironically, Coudet plays for Colón.

“The luck’s over, so don’t bust my balls about it anymore.” Tolo Gallego, The Lucky One according to the press, had so much fortune he lost three key players to injury, saw his side Independiente crash out of a title race and then found himself out of a job at the end of the season.

Defend the indefensible

“Its not like I should go to jail for it” Breyner Bonilla claims his tackle on Facundo Bertoglio wasn’t that bad after all.

Riquelme versus Palermo

“The only thing we have in common is the shirt we wear”Palermo on Riquelme

“This isn’t set up. This is totally and completely set up”Juan Román Riquelme suggests there is more that meets the eye to negative stories in the press.

“I didn’t feel like celebrating the goal in front of that stand”Riquelme explains why he didn’t congratulate Palermo for his record-breaking goal in front of La DoceHighway to hell

“I want San Lorenzo to be like an AC/DC song: hard rock”Fill-in boss Sebastian Mendez before losing 2-0 to Boca, just one of the various low points for the Ciclón this season.Motherly Love

“I like football, apart from when Quilmes play. If Quilmes play my mum, I want Quilmes to win.”The mustachioed Aníbal Fernández, Cabinet Chief, and one of the architects of Fútbol Para TodosAnd finally, let’s talk about sex

“Since I took over Racing I’ve been like Brad Pitt”Tigre coach Ricardo Caruso Lombardi claims his stint in Avellaneda has helped his chances with the opposite sex.

“Playing good football doesn’t mean that you’ll win anything. The best looking girl maybe won’t be that good in the sack…”Argentinos Juniors coach Bichi Borghi’s own analogy on whether attractive football equals good results.

“I’m the same in bed as I am on the pitch – I like to attack.”San Lorenzo and former West Brom loanee Juan Carlos Menseguez spells out his approach.

“There’s no way I’m a 10 in bed”Banfield’s Seba Fernández admits to a few shortcomings

“A friend’s daughter told me I look like a Peruvian porn star”More from the legendary Bichi Borghi

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