âÂÂI donâÂÂt want to go to Chelsea,â the great man once sang. However, Carlo Ancelotti may have little choice come the summer.
Cuddly Carlo is feeling a little hot under the collar ahead of the derby, as defeat would be curtains for AC Milan's title hopes and - to add insult to injury - just about hand the league to city rivals Inter.
The last time he was under so much pressure to deliver was on the eve of the second Champions League semi-final meeting with the Nerazzurri in 2003.
Back then it was the relatively benign Hector Cuper in charge of the opposition. This time around its Jose Mourinho, not noted for his benevolent nature.
Then, waiting in the wings is the elegant Leonardo, who currently holds the rather grand title of âÂÂtechnical directorâ at the club. He's young, handsome and speaks four languages - what chance does Carlo have?
Leonardo lurks behind under pressure Ancelotti
The Brazilian is not only popular among his fellow countrymen at the club and has acted as something of a confidant to Ricky Kaka and Alexandre Pato, but he also has the ear of vice president Adriano Galliani.
That may not translate to coaching excellence, but despite AncelottiâÂÂs assurances to the world that he wonâÂÂt be budging his ample frame in the near future, one gets the feeling that Milan are having other ideas.
Another added ingredient then to what is an already intriguing derby, with the good, great and a âÂÂgeniusâ in town for the San Siro showdown.
Serie Aaaaargh! has bumped into Dejan SaviÃÂeviÃÂ, who is currently looking more like Bill Murray from Groundhog Day than the dashing midfielder who once tore Barcelona apart.
It was Silvio Berlusconi who gave him the moniker il genio and Dejan is backing his old side to nab the city bragging rights and open up the title race.
Obviously suspecting he may be speaking to an Inter fan, he then showed a neat turn of foot and claimed the title will probably be done and dusted if the Nerazzurri win - although it didnâÂÂt really need a genius to work that one out.
Jose has also been strolling the streets of the city, although wearing a tracksuit on one of the most fashionable thoroughfares didnâÂÂt make him the most inconspicuous of shoppers.
However, Milan is not Rome on derby week and the only danger the Special One would find himself in would be the risk of being turned away at the Armani superstore for not being suitably attired.
Jose: "I was only popping out for a pint of milk"
Giorgio isnâÂÂt a big football follower and the only strip he has probably seen is David Beckham preparing for the designerâÂÂs underwear shoot.
While David will be strutting his stuff at the San Siro, another Armani clotheshorse and much better footballer, Ricky Kaka, looks set to miss out.
Footage of the Brazilian jogging around the pitch at Milanello during the week had given Rossoneri fans hope that the miracle of miracles would happen and he would recover from his foot injury in time.
However, there is to be no divine intervention. Maybe the god-fearing Ricky has used up all his help from on high praying he wouldnâÂÂt be forced to join Manchester City.
With no Kaka, Milan fans will need to get down on their knees and press their palms together as Serie Aaaaargh! is going for Mourinho's men to triumph 3-1.
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