Monday's Good Day, Bad Day - Round 6

Good Day

Leo Messi

If there is a better footballer out there, at this very magic moment in time, then La Liga Loca will eat its hat. Oh yes, it will.

It was a stupidly good performance on Saturday night to give the once over to a pathetico Atlético and force Javier Aguirre to beg the Argentine ace for mercy during the half-time break.

“I asked him to be humble in victory and he asked that we wouldn’t boot him about. He’s a gentleman,” revealed the Mexican manager on why Barça added just the one second half strike to their terrific tally.

As to be expected, the balmy Barcelona press have greeted the performance in the same manner as some pre-teen terrors bumping into Hannah Montana in ASDA.

“OOOOHHH!” screamed Mundo Deportivo’s headline on Sunday. “It wasn’t a match it was a fiesta,” giggled Josep Maria Casanovas in Sport, who described in great detail and with complete lack of taste “a tsunami of football.”

Heck, even Marca joined in the fun by ditching Real Madrid from Sunday’s front page to lead with the banner “Messi is still the king.” Naturally, Raúl was AS’s front page what with it being either a) the weekend or b) a midweek day.

 "You're hat's safe Stannard..." 

Villarreal, Valencia

Both unbeaten, both trundling along nicely and both continuing to set the bar so high for their rivals that Xavi would need a step ladder to order a drink.

Both managers complained of a certain lack of zip and zest in their play and can look to midweek European exertions as the criminal culprit. But both came through with wins against Betis and Valladolid respectively.

Raul Tamudo

At last, a smile returned to the Espanyol captain’s little hamster face after scoring at the Bernabeu. And it was a deserved Perico point on Sunday after de la Peña, Garcia and Tamudo showed they are still classier than Roger Federer pouring a cup of tea.

Eliseu

Hell’s bells. Two wins in two from the Malaga side that looked completely doomed after just four games gone. And Sunday’s 4-0 rout of Recreativo was down to the counter-attacking talents of the Portuguese winger Eliseu.

Sporting

It’s one win from one at the start of Sporting’s proper, real, grown-up season. Having been handed and now finished an opening run that included a smacking by Sevilla, a beating by Barcelona, a rogering by Real Madrid and, er, a very hard time against Villarreal, Manolo Preciado’s men turned from cannon-fodder to cannon balls with a 2-0 away win in Mallorca’s Balearic base.

Sevilla

La Liga Loca was complaining recently that Sevilla simply weren’t sexy anymore. However, they won’t give a flying fig as the Andalusians are currently enjoying a fine start to the season, sitting snugly in third and 11 matches unbeaten.

Whilst they may no longer be the Elsa Pataky of La Liga, they fit comfortably into the Drew Barrymore bracket. Still fun to spend time with and would be considered foxy after a couple of beers.

Raúl

La Liga Loca is having to suffer the slings and arrows or outrageous hyperbole, so you should too.

“Heroic,” “a great Raúl wasn’t enough,r” “superb execution,” banchee’d Marca.

“Raúl has an extra-matrimonial relationship with someone called the Bernabeu” reveals Tomas Roncero in AS on a player “who has spent 14 years justifying the price of entry.”

 "Please sir, can I have my ball back?" 

Bad Day

Tomas Ujfalusi

La Liga Loca must be coming down with something. True, it has been feeling a little peaky for a while now. This can be the only explanation for not feeling the overwhelming desire to have a childish kick at Atlético’s footballing knackers, this fine Monday afternoon.

Or maybe those hours spent in the Vicente Calderón are starting to have unfortunate side-effects? Like the rash it has picked up.

Or maybe it just felt sorry for Tomas Ujfalusi who was left looking as bewildered and bothered as Guti in a book shop.

Unfortunately, the blog is alone in having sympathy for a side forced to play Saturday’s game without Maniche, Simao, Forlán and with a clearly unfit Kun continuing to hobble about the pitch.

“To say Atlético lasted eight minutes would be generous,” sniffed Iñaki Díaz Guerra in AS.

The bad news for a shell-shocked Atlético is that they now take the next step in La Liga’s ridiculous fearsome foursome by taking on Real Madrid in the Calderón - a match that rarely goes well for the rojiblancos.

 "Oh 'eck, here comes that Messi again..." 

Athletic Bilbao

The Basque side currently sucks royally playing the poor teams of the Primera, so only merciful Zeus knows what will happen once they take on Barcelona, Real Madrid and Villarreal in their next three matches.

The first part of their own ‘round of death’ ended in disaster on Sunday with Joaquín Caparrós’ boys being spanked like a Tory back bencher.

Real Betis

It pains La Liga Loca to the core to say this, but Real Betis have not been that bad this season. But that will come as absolutely no consolation considering they are rock bottom of the table with just two points.

Osasuna

La Liga Loca’s gloomy prediction of a brain-numbing stalemate shocker in Pamplona was just seconds away from coming true. But then Racing popped up with a cheeky and reportedly undeserved winner, which must have had the home fans trying to force their knuckles down their throats just to end the torment.

Osasuna have failed to score in the last four games and the pressure is on Ziganda to give their strikers a big old boot up the backside.

“The fans pay and have the right to think what they want,” said Ziganda - Cuco code for ‘I know where they live.’

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