If there is a better footballer out there, at this very magic moment in time, then La Liga Loca will eat its hat. Oh yes, it will.
It was a stupidly good performance on Saturday night to give the once over to a pathetico AtlÃÂ©tico and force Javier Aguirre to beg the Argentine ace for mercy during the half-time break.
Ã¢ÂÂI asked him to be humble in victory and he asked that we wouldnÃ¢ÂÂt boot him about. HeÃ¢ÂÂs a gentleman,Ã¢ÂÂ revealed the Mexican manager on why BarÃÂ§a added just the one second half strike to their terrific tally.
As to be expected, the balmy Barcelona press have greeted the performance in the same manner as some pre-teen terrors bumping into Hannah Montana in ASDA.
Ã¢ÂÂOOOOHHH!Ã¢ÂÂ screamed Mundo DeportivoÃ¢ÂÂs headline on Sunday. Ã¢ÂÂIt wasnÃ¢ÂÂt a match it was a fiesta,Ã¢ÂÂ giggled Josep Maria Casanovas in Sport, who described in great detail and with complete lack of taste Ã¢ÂÂa tsunami of football.Ã¢ÂÂ
Heck, even Marca joined in the fun by ditching Real Madrid from SundayÃ¢ÂÂs front page to lead with the banner Ã¢ÂÂMessi is still the king.Ã¢ÂÂ Naturally, RaÃÂºl was ASÃ¢ÂÂs front page what with it being either a) the weekend or b) a midweek day.
"You're hat's safe Stannard..."
Both unbeaten, both trundling along nicely and both continuing to set the bar so high for their rivals that Xavi would need a step ladder to order a drink.
Both managers complained of a certain lack of zip and zest in their play and can look to midweek European exertions as the criminal culprit. But both came through with wins against Betis and Valladolid respectively.
At last, a smile returned to the Espanyol captainÃ¢ÂÂs little hamster face after scoring at the Bernabeu. And it was a deserved Perico point on Sunday after de la PeÃÂ±a, Garcia and Tamudo showed they are still classier than Roger Federer pouring a cup of tea.
HellÃ¢ÂÂs bells. Two wins in two from the Malaga side that looked completely doomed after just four games gone. And SundayÃ¢ÂÂs 4-0 rout of Recreativo was down to the counter-attacking talents of the Portuguese winger Eliseu.
ItÃ¢ÂÂs one win from one at the start of SportingÃ¢ÂÂs proper, real, grown-up season. Having been handed and now finished an opening run that included a smacking by Sevilla, a beating by Barcelona, a rogering by Real Madrid and, er, a very hard time against Villarreal, Manolo PreciadoÃ¢ÂÂs men turned from cannon-fodder to cannon balls with a 2-0 away win in MallorcaÃ¢ÂÂs Balearic base.
La Liga Loca was complaining recently that Sevilla simply werenÃ¢ÂÂt sexy anymore. However, they wonÃ¢ÂÂt give a flying fig as the Andalusians are currently enjoying a fine start to the season, sitting snugly in third and 11 matches unbeaten.
Whilst they may no longer be the Elsa Pataky of La Liga, they fit comfortably into the Drew Barrymore bracket. Still fun to spend time with and would be considered foxy after a couple of beers.
La Liga Loca is having to suffer the slings and arrows or outrageous hyperbole, so you should too.
Ã¢ÂÂHeroic,Ã¢ÂÂ Ã¢ÂÂa great RaÃÂºl wasnÃ¢ÂÂt enough,rÃ¢ÂÂ Ã¢ÂÂsuperb execution,Ã¢ÂÂ bancheeÃ¢ÂÂd Marca.
Ã¢ÂÂRaÃÂºl has an extra-matrimonial relationship with someone called the BernabeuÃ¢ÂÂ reveals Tomas Roncero in AS on a player Ã¢ÂÂwho has spent 14 years justifying the price of entry.Ã¢ÂÂ
"Please sir, can I have my ball back?"
La Liga Loca must be coming down with something. True, it has been feeling a little peaky for a while now. This can be the only explanation for not feeling the overwhelming desire to have a childish kick at AtlÃÂ©ticoÃ¢ÂÂs footballing knackers, this fine Monday afternoon.
Or maybe those hours spent in the Vicente CalderÃÂ³n are starting to have unfortunate side-effects? Like the rash it has picked up.
Or maybe it just felt sorry for Tomas Ujfalusi who was left looking as bewildered and bothered as Guti in a book shop.
Unfortunately, the blog is alone in having sympathy for a side forced to play SaturdayÃ¢ÂÂs game without Maniche, Simao, ForlÃÂ¡n and with a clearly unfit Kun continuing to hobble about the pitch.
Ã¢ÂÂTo say AtlÃÂ©tico lasted eight minutes would be generous,Ã¢ÂÂ sniffed IÃÂ±aki DÃÂaz Guerra in AS.
The bad news for a shell-shocked AtlÃÂ©tico is that they now take the next step in La LigaÃ¢ÂÂs ridiculous fearsome foursome by taking on Real Madrid in the CalderÃÂ³n - a match that rarely goes well for the rojiblancos.
"Oh 'eck, here comes that Messi again..."
The Basque side currently sucks royally playing the poor teams of the Primera, so only merciful Zeus knows what will happen once they take on Barcelona, Real Madrid and Villarreal in their next three matches.
The first part of their own Ã¢ÂÂround of deathÃ¢ÂÂ ended in disaster on Sunday with JoaquÃÂn CaparrÃÂ³sÃ¢ÂÂ boys being spanked like a Tory back bencher.
It pains La Liga Loca to the core to say this, but Real Betis have not been that bad this season. But that will come as absolutely no consolation considering they are rock bottom of the table with just two points.
La Liga LocaÃ¢ÂÂs gloomy prediction of a brain-numbing stalemate shocker in Pamplona was just seconds away from coming true. But then Racing popped up with a cheeky and reportedly undeserved winner, which must have had the home fans trying to force their knuckles down their throats just to end the torment.
Osasuna have failed to score in the last four games and the pressure is on Ziganda to give their strikers a big old boot up the backside.
Ã¢ÂÂThe fans pay and have the right to think what they want,Ã¢ÂÂ said Ziganda - Cuco code for Ã¢ÂÂI know where they live.Ã¢ÂÂ