Who is the first sacking of the season?

Six rounds of La Liga lunacy was all it took for the first panicking Primera president to crack and kick out his coach. And the winner of this season’s prestigious 'Juan Soler itchy trigger finger’ trophy is Francisco Mendoza. As well as sharing the name of the owner of an ass that Crockett and Tubbs spent many years trying to bust, Mendoza is the president of Recreativo. And he fits all the rigid requirements of an Iberian big cheese - outrageously big moustache, look of enormous self-satisfaction and in the construction business. On Tuesday, the Recre regent booted poor old Manuel Zambrano out the door after just 22 games in charge, if you count last year’s total.

Mendoza: First to pull the trigger in La Liga this season

The former number two was moved into his very temporary hot seat last season when the petulant president grew tired of Victor Muñoz’ services. Yes, Recreativo are currently third from bottom, and yes they just got mauled by Malaga, but excuse frackin’ La Liga Loca but obviously the blog missed the memo detailing how Recreativo would be going for the title this year. Over the summer, Recre lost Sinama to Atlético Madrid and Cáceres returned to Villarreal, only to disappear into a big hole at Barcelona and - through not fault of the cash-strapped club - replaced this important pair with the Krankies. Recreativo are, indeed, rubbish, but they were always going to be rubbish. But this annoying fact isn’t enough for Mendoza who has replaced Zambrano with Lucas Alcaraz, a former Recreativo coach from 2001-03 and the chump who was sacked by Murcia last year, despite being given numerous promises that he wouldn’t be. “The decision to take on Lucas Alcaraz was taken in a unanimous decision by the board,” mumbled Mendoza, spreading the blame.Meanwhile, the ex-Murcia man’s head is still spinning on the news that he would be returning to a club that he once lead to promotion and a Copa del Rey final appearance.“It all happened very fast,” admitted Alcaraz, speaking on Tuesday. “The club called me, last night, and after a meeting that finished early this morning, we came to an agreement.” After a number of high-level lunches, the Spanish federation’s curiously named Competition Committee has decided to fine Espanyol 3,000 euros for the violence that occured during the demolition derby at the Montjuic.Although the country’s Anti violence Commission recommended a punishment of 18,500, the RFEF committee felt that the trouble at the Espanyol vs Barcelona clash was ‘serious’ but not ‘very serious.’ In a rare moment of actual journalism Marca has branded the decision as “a disgrace” arguing that “perhaps someone should have died?”

“Isn’t it enough that five people ended up in prison for throwing fireworks?” continued the agitated editorial.

Espanyol fans cost their club 3,000 euros vs Barcelona 

And it’s good to see the paper back in the game after giving up on Tuesday by offering up 28 pages of photos from it’s annual award ceremony with the rest of the daily saying how great Raúl is (and for once, La Liga Loca is not exaggerating).Roberto Gómez has gone for a familiar staple when faced with nothing much to talk about. Go to a big event where lots of very important people will be and list them like a 7-year-old describing what they had for tea that evening. On Tuesday, the rotund rambler was at a ceremony when a university was giving a big yellow hat to a doctor who has done 5,000 operations on knees. La Liga Loca suspects that Roberto is angling for a freebie, having spent much of his journalistic career wearing his own pair down to the bone. Possibly because Raúl was unavailable, Marca have an interview with Ruud van Nistelrooy on Wednesday, and have plastered the front page with the stunning revelation that the Dutchman would quite like to win the Champions League one day.

"Move club," suggests La Liga Loca. Other journalistic gems from the previous day's chat include the shocking news that Ruud feels the start of the season has been fine, Raúl is very good and that Sir Alex Ferguson can go spin on it.* (*one of these statements isn’t technically true).

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