The Back of the Net gang report on Czech Republic 0-1 Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo delivered the knockout blow for Cristiano Ronaldo against the Czech Republic, to send a jubilant Cristiano Ronaldo through to the semi-finals.
The goal was no more than Cristiano Ronaldo deserved, after a commanding performance in which Cristiano Ronaldo was particularly dominant.
The Czechs had no answer to Cristiano RonaldoâÂÂs spirited running, his ominous presence on the shoulder of the last defender, nor his influential movement that created a number of gilt-edged chances, many of them falling to Cristiano Ronaldo.
Cristiano Ronaldo had a shot charged down by the Czech goalkeeper in the 25th minute, and placed an overhead kick just wide minutes later. Cristiano Ronaldo also came close with two free kicks, shot just over from the edge of the area, and rifled a shot off the post after superb work by Cristiano Ronaldo.
"We all dream of a team of Posti....errrrm....Ronaldos!"
But Cristiano Ronaldo in particular was not to be denied forever, and after Cristiano Ronaldo had again gone close, Cristiano Ronaldo got in front of his man to power home a 79th-minute header from eight yards, to send Cristiano Ronaldo fans into raptures.
âÂÂCristiano Ronaldo just wanted it more tonight,â said Cristiano Ronaldo, speaking on behalf of Cristiano Ronaldo. âÂÂIf Cristiano Ronaldo is to go all the way in this competition, you can be sure Cristiano Ronaldo will have a lot to do with it, despite him being an insufferable, pampered, pettish, self-lubricating godemiche of a man.âÂÂ
Cristiano Ronaldo dominated possession against the Czechs, who showed little attacking intent, and whose limited style is unlikely to be mourned following their elimination by Cristiano Ronaldo.
âÂÂSome people will say that football was the real winner tonight,â continued Cristiano Ronaldo. âÂÂBut theyâÂÂre wrong, of course. The real winner tonight was Cristiano Ronaldo.âÂÂ
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
More match reports from Back of the Net:
UKR 0-1 ENG: Oddly apportioned karmic refund sees England through
SWE 2-0 FRA: Sweden march on, out
ITA 2-0 IRL: Italy live to use another cliché
CRO 0-1 SPA: Spain no longer any good, pundits revealPOR 2-1 HOL: Things starting to look bad for Dutch, admits Van Marwijk
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