La LigaÃ¢ÂÂs Good Day, Bad Day - Round 34
When there are regurgitated guts and glass covering the streets the Catalan capital, you can be sure that it has been a good night for the culÃÂ©-crazy part of the city.
The 6-2 arse-handing, humdinger of a thrashing inflicted on Madrid by Barcelona kicked off the mother of all parties in the city, a party which inevitably turned a little bit fruity, as often tends to happen in this particular place.
It was an unexpectedly insane night in the Bernabeu with Barcelona coming to town to show Madrid who really wears the trousers in this yearÃ¢ÂÂs title chase.
The league leaders were rocked on two occasions with goals from HiguaÃÂn and Ramos, but bounced back almost instantly to make sure that any Real revival was as short-lived as Juande RamosÃ¢ÂÂ reign.
Ã¢ÂÂA goal-fest! Humiliation! Champions! 2-6!Ã¢ÂÂ yelled SportÃ¢ÂÂs headline on Sunday. MondayÃ¢ÂÂs edition had toned down the excitement a tad with Josep Maria Casanovas declaring that the victory in the Spanish capital was merely Ã¢ÂÂthe best moment in BarcelonaÃ¢ÂÂs history.Ã¢ÂÂ
Barca fans paint the town red (and blue)
Aside from Barcelona, the biggest winner from SaturdayÃ¢ÂÂs mauling of Madrid was Florentino PÃÂ©rez, who is set to announce his candidature for the presidential elections, next week, according to the local press.
And as he makes his way to the podium, there are likely to be representatives from both Marca and AS throwing rose petals before his feet and offering up their daughters as sacrifices.
Ã¢ÂÂFlorentino PÃÂ©rez will come back to rescue Madrid,Ã¢ÂÂ gushes MondayÃ¢ÂÂs Marca who has put the insufferably smug-faced figure of their Saviour on the front cover, along with AS. The PÃÂ©rez propaganda machine is only just warming up.
Back to winning ways after four dumping defeats in a row. The away victory over a completely lost-the-biscuit Villarreal came courtesy of strikes from KanoutÃÂ© and Fabiano, just the third time the forward pair have both appeared on the scoresheet in la Liga this season.
But the fact that Sevilla are still 18 points behind Real Madrid shows that Manolo JimenÃÂ©zÃ¢ÂÂ men are still not much cop, despite their relatively lofty position.
Hells bells. It really does look like La Liga Loca will need to look elsewhere for its second division coverage next season, after Paul from Barcelona witnessed a 3-0 win over Valencia for the plucky Pericos.
Ã¢ÂÂFootballÃ¢ÂÂs a strange game. Just over a month ago Espanyol looked doomed, but the way things are going a top-10 finish could be on the cards. Five wins and one draw out of the last six matches. 12 goals for, one against.
"A sunny early evening saw Valencia with a good following (1,300) which begs the question, why this year and not all the others? 34,000 inside the stadium to see a fairly even first-half which ended goaless but with the better chances being created by Espanyol.
"The second half saw Valencia start the stronger but their fans were silent. Is there some Valencian custom about not singing in the second half? But gradually Espanyol got on top and it was no surprise when a rocket shot from Roman gave 'I can't believe he still gets a game' CÃÂ©sar no chance.
"With Villa shackled by Jarque (not... you know) it was Espanyol who were controlling the game. Then a 30-metre free-kick from Pareja put the result beyond any doubt. And thereÃ¢ÂÂs more, Rufete gave the defence the run-around and was fouled in the area. NenÃÂ© easily scored the penalty.
"So 3-0 against one of the top four who, despite some good movement, didn't really threaten. Villa and Silva particularly poor especially in the second half.
Stray cats 0. BarÃÂ§a fans arrested 5Ã¢ÂÂ
Periquitos dare to dream of avoiding drop
A 2-1 home win over Getafe puts Mallorca on a more-than-handy 45 points, a total giving the Balearic side another year of top-flight footie.
Ã¢ÂÂSafety is now real and not virtual like last week,Ã¢ÂÂ said relieved Mallorca manager Gregorio Manzano, who must be looking to the clubÃ¢ÂÂs final four matches against Sevilla, Barcelona, Real Madrid and Villarreal with considerably less stress than before.
Considering the amount of trouble Mallorca was in at the start of the season - both on and off the pitch - with the bailiffs hammering at the gates, Manzano has performed a mini-miracle to lead Mallorca into ninth with just one defeat in their last 13 matches.
Another coach due a dose of cap-doffing from the blog is Hugo SÃÂ¡nchez, who came to AlmerÃÂa with a reputation as being a poor manager making a living off his reputation as a player.
But 43 points for his side, thanks to a 2-0 win over Racing Santander, means that his previously ridiculous desires to be the bigwig at the Bernabeu one day may not be so far-fetched after all.
Two wins against MÃÂ¡laga and Osasuna respectively gives both clubs a chink of light in their dark relegation tunnels of doom.
As usual, AtlÃÂ©ticoÃ¢ÂÂs win over Betis in the De Lopera was a hard-fought one with the normal defensive scrambles and panics at the end.
But an 88th minute strike from ForlÃÂ¡n, the rojiblanco strikerÃ¢ÂÂs second of the night, means that Atleti can probably return to the Vicente CalderÃÂ³n next week without the need for body armour.
Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂm sure that next Sunday our fans will welcome us with open arms,Ã¢ÂÂ predicted manager Abel Resino, pushing his luck somewhat.
Forlan fires home two more
A last-minute scrambled effort against Sporting gives Athletic a point, with perhaps just one more needed to give them total security ahead of their Copa del Rey thrashing by Barcelona next week.
43 goals scored. 42 goals conceded. Seventh. (Sigh)
Oh dear. It looks like Real Madrid will be moving onto their (starts counting on fingers) 37th manager in two years this summer. The 4-0 defeat by Liverpool and the small matter of a 2-6 hammering by Barcelona will almost certainly see to that.
Despite a poll in Marca suggesting that 82 percent of readers want Ramos to continue on the bench, the paper is touting Arsene Wenger as MadridÃ¢ÂÂs next manager, next summer.
Of course, thereÃ¢ÂÂs no consideration in the paper as to why someone who is managing a club that actually plays in the Champions League will want to switch to a team governed by an all-powerful president who has the dangerous combination of knowing jack-all about football but thinking he does.
La Liga Loca probed Christoph Metzelder after the game on whether the defeat to BarÃÂ§a would lead to an end of season collapse for Madrid.
Although the German defender talked up their chances in the final four matches, his well-meaning attempt at a cheery tone did not convince.
The Getafe manager started his tenure on his latest bench as he means to go on this season - with a defeat.
However, his case certainly wasnÃ¢ÂÂt helped on Sunday with the previously excellent goalkeeper Stojkovic booting the ball straight at Aduriz, who gave Mallorca the second goal in their 2-1 win.
Oh dear. Not a good time to pick up the first draw of the season.
Deep into second half injury-time, Sporting were 1-0 up and about to grab three crucial points that would have lifted them out of the relegation mire. But that was before a big old scramble gave Athletic an equaliser.
Ã¢ÂÂNuts,Ã¢ÂÂ growled Manolo Preciado after the match.
"Dry roasted if you've got any..."
A bad day for Racing with a 2-0 home defeat to AlmerÃÂa, but a good day for one famous fan who returned to the stands to rapturous applause - Seve Ballesteros.
Another team who conceded in the final seconds - a rather embarrassing lapse against Recreativo - leaving Osasuna in all sorts of trouble.
Two points from the drop-zone and facing Getafe, Sevilla, Barcelona and Real Madrid in their final four encounters. Gulp!
Despite the somewhat ominous banner from the fans declaring Ã¢ÂÂWin or die. Last warning,Ã¢ÂÂ the Betis players fell to their third straight defeat.
ItÃ¢ÂÂs unlikely that the club will tumble through the trap door but their supporters remain very unhappy bunnies indeed.
608 minutes without scoring a goal. Hard to believe with VÃÂctor, Ogbeche and Goitum in the sideÃ¢ÂÂs forward line.