Prem Previews: Rory Delap and other massive tossers

By published

If the year 2008 is remembered for anything, it wonâÂÂt be for that US Election caper, Gordon Brown knocking over the economy and then fixing it with gaffer tape or even Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand insulting that little Spanish waiter chap.

It will be for being the year that Stoke and Hull both gave the Premier League establishment an almighty kick in the jaffers.

Well maybe not. After all, who is ever going to be able to get over the dispicable actions of Brand and Ross, but itâÂÂs still been refreshing to see newly promoted sides go for it from the off and get their just rewards (Paul Jewell and his Derby County bottlers take note).


Brand: Knows Andrew Sachs's granddaughter, apparently 

The fact that match took place in English footballâÂÂs third tier tells you how far the two clubs have come.

Both sides have utilised not-so-secret weapons this season. Stoke have made the most of Rory DelapâÂÂs Herculean hurls into the six-yard box, while Hull have benefited several times from GeovanniâÂÂs ability to hit the back of the net from pretty much anywhere within seven miles of the city in which the match is being played.

DelapâÂÂs massive toss is unlike anything else in the Premier League, as theyâÂÂre chucked in at such a pace and such a shallow angle â theyâÂÂre like a Beckham free-kick from off the top of a wardrobe.

ItâÂÂs baffling that, having scored from the long throw five times at home, the Potters have only managed the trick once away.

Although this record highlights the need for improvement away from home, it also goes to show how much difference a partisan crowd can make, with StokeâÂÂs stadium recently named the loudest in the Premier League.


Delap: More power to his elbow(s) 

Conversely, Hull have managed just two home wins from seven, but boast an away record that is currently the envy of the Premier LeagueâÂÂs elite sides... well, Manchester United and Arsenal anyway.

The aforementioned records make this game a close one to call, so weâÂÂre just going to say 1-1 and move on swiftly.

Things arenâÂÂt going to be any easier to call at Eastlands on Sunday, where Manchester City host Manchester United in the seasonâÂÂs first Manchester derby.

Knickers in a twist 

As good a player as Dimitar Berbatov is, perhaps itâÂÂs time to question whether he was the best fit for United. His often leisurely and languid style is probably not quite suited to UnitedâÂÂs full-throttled and direct approach in the same way that Carlos Tevez or Wayne Rooney are.

Berbatov is unlikely to start against the team he spurned to join United in August, having picked up a knock on international duty last week, before promtly getting his knickers in a twist at Bulgaria's heavy defeat to Serbia and threatening to quit international football. 

Perhaps reverting to the system that served them so well last season will work in UnitedâÂÂs favour, and United will do what Chelsea and Liverpool before them have done and win at Eastlands.

One team that didnâÂÂt win at City this season were Arsenal, who travel across London to face Chelsea in SundayâÂÂs other big Premier League match.


To make matters worse, Willy ballsed-up the forward roll 

If Willy GallasâÂÂs ill-timed rant last did little to help settle the side for that trip to Eastlands, his comedy performance on Tuesday night in the win over Kiev will have left his team-mates questioning quite why Professor Wenger didnâÂÂt just boot his sulky backside into touch.

If you believe what you read, AC Milan are monitoring GallasâÂÂs situation in North London with a view to signing him next month. Perhaps Arsene could recall Phillipe Senderos from the San Siro and ship Gallas out in his place. On second thoughts, maybe things arenâÂÂt quite that bad yet.

Last season the Blues came from behind to beat Arsenal 2-1 in this fixture, and weâÂÂre expecting a similar scoreline again this time round.

Saturday November 29
Aston Villa 2-1 Fulham,
Middlesbrough 2-2 Newcastle
Stoke 1-1 Hull
Sunderland 0-1 Bolton
Wigan 2-0 West Brom

Sunday November 30
Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal
Man City 1-2 Man Utd
Portsmouth 1-1 Blackburn
Tottenham 0-0 Everton

Monday December 1
Liverpool 3-0 West Ham (Live on Setanta Sports, 8pm)

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Footy15 Pundit Predictions: 

Alan Hansen
Aston Villa vs Fulham - HOME
Chelsea vs Arsenal - HOME
Man City vs Man Utd - DRAW
Middlesbrough vs Newcastle - HOME
Portsmouth vs Blackburn - HOME
Stoke vs Hull - DRAW
Sunderland vs Bolton - DRAW
Tottenham vs Everton - DRAW
Wigan vs West Brom - HOME
Liverpool vs West Ham - HOME

John Barnes
Aston Villa vs Fulham - HOME
Chelsea vs Arsenal - HOME
Man City vs Man Utd - AWAY
Middlesbrough vs Newcastle - DRAW
Portsmouth vs Blackburn - HOME
Stoke vs Hull - DRAW
Sunderland vs Bolton - HOME
Tottenham vs Everton - HOME
Wigan vs West Brom - HOME
Liverpool vs West Ham - HOME

Tony Cascarino
Aston Villa vs Fulham - HOME
Chelsea vs Arsenal - HOME
Man City vs Man Utd - AWAY
Middlesbrough vs Newcastle - DRAW
Portsmouth vs Blackburn - HOME
Stoke vs Hull - AWAY
Sunderland vs Bolton - DRAW
Tottenham vs Everton - DRAW
Wigan vs West Brom - HOME
Liverpool vs West Ham - HOME

Graham Poll
Aston Villa vs Fulham - HOME
Chelsea vs Arsenal - DRAW
Man City vs Man Utd - AWAY
Middlesbrough vs Newcastle - HOME
Portsmouth vs Blackburn - HOME
Stoke vs Hull - AWAY
Sunderland vs Bolton - DRAW
Tottenham vs Everton - AWAY
Wigan vs West Brom - AWAY
Liverpool vs West Ham - AWAY