Premier Sketch: Chilean miners, marine haircuts & Barton's sausage-legs
Manchester City moved joint-top of the table for a few days with a 3-0 away win at West Ham, after Chelsea continued their stuttering run of winless games.
The weekendÃ¢ÂÂs best goal scored by a snood-wearer came at Upton Park; CityÃ¢ÂÂs Yaya Toure earning the honours with a wicked left-footed drive.
So life is great at Eastlands, unless you happen to be the confused City captain Carlos Tevez, who is just figuring out that signing a five-year contract to make you CityÃ¢ÂÂs highest earner then, just months later, announcing youÃ¢ÂÂre not really too keen on playing football anymore doesnÃ¢ÂÂt make you particularly popular.
Speaking of bad decision making, you would think a team run by the owner of a chain of cheap sporting goods stores could find his players a pair of shorts that donÃ¢ÂÂt cut off their circulation. LetÃ¢ÂÂs just say that itÃ¢ÂÂs pretty easy to figure out what religion Joey Barton is.
At times, football can be an unpredictable sport - but one thing you can always rely on is Newcastle sacking their manager at least once a season.
Chris Hughton outrageously became the first Premier League boss to be shown the door this season. Although the decision wasnÃ¢ÂÂt greeted with too much enthusiasm, HughtonÃ¢ÂÂs successor Alan Pardew lead the Magpies to a 3-1 win over Liverpool.
The Reds backline was bullied by Andy Carroll all afternoon and Martin Skrtel was given a torrid time even though he looks the for all the world like a centre back you donÃ¢ÂÂt want to mess with:
Marine haircut -Check
Full of tattoos - Check
Lack of snood - Check
Eastern European - Check, actually Slovak.
On Monday night Manchester UnitedÃ¢ÂÂs guests, the Chilean miners, witnesses United move above their City neighbours taking top spot after beating a disappointing Arsenal 1-0.
The prolific Wayne Rooney took advantage of his late penalty kick to belt the ball at one of the many Stretford enders who had booed him onto the field a few weeks ago.
When asked how they had coped with being stuck in such a dark, damp, and depressing place the miners replied Ã¢ÂÂIt wasnÃ¢ÂÂt so bad they gave us plenty of prawn sandwiches at halftime.Ã¢ÂÂ
And finally hereÃ¢ÂÂs this weeksÃ¢ÂÂ Guess the goal; bonus points for naming the reclining back four...