Wary of putting pressure on Kane, Spurs fans settle for 50-foot monument
Harry Kane is in sensational form for Tottenham, but the club’s fans are determined not to get carried away by the 21-year-old’s lethal run.
Tottenham’s official fan club have revealed that they have decided to scale back plans for a palace complex they intended to build for Kane, instead erecting a mere 50-foot statue of the striker scoring against Arsenal.
The downgrading of the original plans is a sign of Spurs fans’ reluctance to put too much pressure on the striker at this early stage of his career.
“Obviously we don’t want to exaggerate Kane’s abilities, but he is the one we have been waiting for,” Spurs fan Jeremy Conrad told FourFourTwo.
“It was prophesied that a lanky striker, more forehead than man, would arrive and that he would fire us to Champions League qualification, and Kane is that striker.
“The least we can do is worship him, retweet his every thought and make up a series of catchy chants.
“After that the prophecy becomes a little sketchy. It appears to forecast a defeat in the preliminary stages to Besiktas and his sale to Real Madrid just after we’ve all bought shirts with his name on the back, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
The stone monument is expected to take 18 months to complete, but fans insist they aren’t worried that Kane may have left by then.
“Kane is Tottenham and Tottenham is Kane. He can no more leave than the sun can leave the sky, or we can sell Younes Kaboul,” says supporter Tom Woodley.
“I’ve named my children Harry and Kane in his honour. They’re bright kids, even brighter I reckon than my other two: Gareth and Bale. But of course it’s early days and I don’t want to overstate Kane’s potential.”
Kane’s followers are hoping that the striker will be satisfied by his graven image and remain constantly ready to oblige their idol’s every wish.
“If he says the word I’m ready to smite his enemies or anoint his feet,” Woodley insisted. “He doesn’t seem to want a lot of smiting or anointing done though to be honest, which is a shame.
“But we’re all keen not to put too much pressure on him yet, he’s still 21 and it’s not like he’s our only competent striker.”