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BotN: Dizzy Curbishley trapped on managerial merry-go-round

Ever wondered what happened to the early 2000s' sixth most in-demand manager? Back of the Net's Paul Watson explains...

It has been revealed that former Charlton Athletic manager Alan Curbishley has become trapped on the managerial-merry-go-round.

Curbishley left West Ham in September 2008 and boarded the merry-go-round expecting to be swiftly deposited at an equal or slightly worse club, but things havenâÂÂt worked out that way.

Sources close to the the 54-year-old have confirmed that the functional tacticianâÂÂs suit jacket has become caught in the merry-go-round mechanism, trapping an increasingly desperate Curbishley on the ride for nearly four years and preventing him from safely dismounting at Birmingham, Wolves or Fulham.

âÂÂWeâÂÂre all a little worried about Curbsâ state of mind,â our source told FourFourTwo.com.

âÂÂItâÂÂs been a really tough time for him being stuck in this gyratory limbo. Lately heâÂÂs been muttering about how nice Bolton looks at this time of year.

âÂÂBesides, heâÂÂs spending an awful lot of time with Iain Dowie and thatâÂÂs obviously got to take its toll on you.âÂÂ

Fashioned by the same people who designed the rumour mill, the managerial merry-go-round is lubricated by despair, greed and some oil and has been spinning continuously since its inception in the late 1980s.

It was created with the purpose of ensuring a constant supply of gossip for the football media, but these days is widely regarded as a way of ensuring that any given club is managed by Steve Bruce at least once every three years.

At its fastest, the English merry-go-round reaches a speed of 1mpw (1 manager per week), the default speed in ItalyâÂÂs Serie A, but it always maintains a pace fast enough to make West Brom and Wigan look like attractive places to be.

Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.

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