Leeds United have dismissed goalkeeper Paddy Kenny because of new owner Massimo Cellino’s superstitions, reports John Foster...
Cellino is notorious in Italy for his irrational aversion to certain objects and concepts, including mirrors, chess pieces, being tried for fraud and The Color Purple, the 1982 novel by Alice Walker.
However, it has now emerged that his dislike extends to the figure of 108 kilos, after the unceremonious sacking of Kenny following Leeds’ first pre-season weigh-in.
“In my home in Sardinia, we consider a goalkeeper who cannot put his gloves on without sweating to be a bearer of ill luck,” Cellino told FourFourTwo. “It’s nothing personal against Paddy. I would feel the same about any player who was so big he had smaller players orbiting him. It’s like a nervous tic.”
Cellino continued: “Tradition also dictates that we sack managers who look like minions from Despicable Me, wash our kits at home in our lucky sinks and close the staff canteen because canteens are home to evil spirits that take the form of expensive bacon rolls.
“Conversely, in my family, signing a load of ex-Cagliari players on free transfers has long been considered a harbinger of good fortune.”
As part of his pay-off, Kenny has been given a Black Forest gateau in lieu of back wages, and has been allowed to keep his custom-made goalkeeping bib.
Reports suggest Kenny has turned to Neil Warnock for support, who continues to believe the 36-year-old is a wish-granting leprechaun thanks to that one time he mended Warnock’s shoes.
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