Pulis aghast to find no "Naked Friday" at Palace

New Selhurst gaffer astonished to find all training sessions are "togs on", writes Paul Watson...

New Crystal Palace manager Tony Pulis intends to overhaul the club’s training regime and has stressed the need for stricter timekeeping, more video analysis and naked Friday.
 
Former Stoke boss Pulis has been brought in to steady the ship at Palace after the departure of skeletal whimsy man Ian Holloway at the end of October. 
 
And the Welsh tactician has already made a host of suggestions to sharpen up training sessions at Palace as they prepare for a relegation dogfight.
 
“I think the boys need to be a little more punctual and professional – and in turn I think as coaching staff we need to make more use of video technology,” Pulis told FourFourTwo.
 
“Oh yeah and then there’s naked Fridays, of course.”
 
Pulis has implemented at least one fully nude training session a week at every club he’s managed and believes it’s a fundamental part of the modern game.
 
“To be frank I was pretty staggered to come in of a Friday and find the lads have all got their togs on,” he said.
 
“That a club at this level is conducting training sessions fully-clothed five times a week is bizarre. 
 
“Honestly, I think the players were a bit embarrassed about the way they’ve been doing things – there were certainly a few red faces when I pitched up in my birthday suit.”
 
Sources at Crystal Palace suggest that several squad members filed transfer requests on Pulis’s first Friday, with at least three players asking to leave shortly after a particularly vigorous afternoon yoga session which the manager also took part in.
 
“Personally if I can’t come in to work at least once a week with the old fella [Tony Pulis’s penis] lapping around my upper thigh like a friendly dog then it just doesn’t feel right,” Pulis explained.
 
“I’ve always said that if a player doesn’t particularly want to see my ball-sack gently undulating in a winter breeze then maybe they aren’t my kind of player. 
 
“In fact, if your revulsion threshold doesn’t extend to wilted genitalia then you probably aren’t going to enjoy watching any team I manage.”
 
FourFourTwo spoke with Pulis on the phone.


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