Valencia victory fails to lift doom and gloom

It was the Cup final that had it all.

A match ball that was parachuted in, the kind of noise that makes your ears bleed, enough orange wigs to keep Cilla Black in hair for a decade, and Chikilcuatre dancing the ChikiChiki on the Calderón pitch - a deranged hybrid of La Macarena, The Time Warp and The Chicken Song performed by the bloke who came second in the Royston Vasey Elvis competition. Probably.

Thank you for reading 5 articles this month* Join now for unlimited access

Enjoy your first month for just £1 / $1 / €1

*Read 5 free articles per month without a subscription

Join now for unlimited access

Try first month for just £1 / $1 / €1