The February edition of FourFourTwo has, as well as the Players' Poll and an exclusive interview with Rio Ferdinand, 28 of the funniest footballing stories you've never heard. We asked our network of writers to dish the dirt on players and managers behind the scenes and they duly obliged with tales about Lionel Messi, Sir Alex Ferguson, Diego Maradona and more.
Here are two to get your mouths watering Ã¢ÂÂ you can read the rest in the February 2013 issue, out now. If you like what you see, subscribe!
Gary gets shirty with Philby Matt Allen, former FFT staff writer
When FFT was dispatched to Manchester to interview the Neville brothers in 2000, there was no mistaking the chain of command. On their arrival, Gary introduced himself and grabbed my tape recorder, brandishing it like a microphone throughout the interview. With each question he passed the gadget from his mouth to Phil's, though mainly to his.
Later, when it was announced that we would like to take some photos, the drama really began. Both brothers had arrived in the same blue Diadora T-shirt. Gary wasn't happy and quickly took charge. "You're not wearing that," he barked.
"Why not?" pleaded Phil. "I like it."
"We'll look like a right pair of dickheads. Go and change it."
"But I want to wear it," pleaded Phil.
Gary wasn't budging. Phil, crestfallen, wandered back to his car in the pouring rain and found another shirt.
Gary may have had these previous photoshoots on his mind
"Sistine Chapel? No, Bella Pasta"by Steve Anglesey, FFT contributor
In the days when interviews used to be conducted at players' homes, I was invited round the Manchester City midfielder Nicky Summerbee's place, next door to Ryan Giggs.
You couldn't help but admire his entrance hall, which had a huge replica of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel fresco on the ceiling.
"Good, innit?" he said. "I saw it on the ceiling of an Italian restaurant."
Not pictured: Summerbee's Mona Lisa, as seen on an episode of The Simpsons