Arsenal's Oxlade-Chamberlain issues 'come and get me' plea to parents

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The Arsenal youngster is having a Macaulay Culkin moment, according to Back of the Net's John Foster

Youthful winger Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain has issued a desperate ‘come and get me’ plea to his parents, after being left stranded in Krakow at the end of England’s unsuccessful Euro 2012 campaign without any means of getting home.

The 18-year old Arsenal star missed the coach from the team hotel to the airport, and subsequently their flight to London, after reportedly oversleeping on the morning of departure after staying up all night watching cartoons with Theo Walcott.

“Mum usually wakes me up at home,” Oxlade-Chamberlain explained. “I saw I had 12 missed calls from Gary Neville, but I assumed someone had got his phone and swapped my number with David Beckham’s for a prank. By the time I twigged what had happened, it was too late.

A basic agreement is in place between the ex-Southampton ace and his family to take the player back to North London, though there are still some details to be ironed out, including whether Oxlade-Chamberlain’s mother can get time off work to fly to Poland, and whether the teenage winger will commit to cleaning his room thoroughly on his return.

“My agent’s linked me to some low-cost airlines, and we’re talking to a Warsaw-based tour operator, but I’m really hoping Mum and Dad are planning a swoop for me before the season starts,” he told “If that doesn’t happen, I hope I’m still on the radar of Uncle Neville and Auntie Annie.”

Oxlade-Chamberlain is keen to avoid the fate of ex-Chelsea utility man Michael Mancienne, who was left behind in similar circumstances after the European Under-21 Championships in 2011. Unable to agree terms with his parents, and having failed to attract the attention of any of Europe’s top taxi drivers, Mancienne was left with no choice but to sign a four-year deal with Hamburg.

Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.

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