BotN: Lambert spends press conference speaking in iambic pentameter
The new Aston Villa manager is taking a more rhythmic approach to media matters, as Back of the Net's John Foster explains...
Fans and journalists have been lining up to praise Paul Lambert after the Aston Villa boss successfully answered all questions put to him in his midweek press conference in iambic pentameter.
Lambert won plaudits at former club Norwich for his motivational skills, his commitment to attacking football, and his facility with challenging poetic forms. But the former Scotland midfielder is well aware that his project to reintroduce pace, flair, and sonnets to Villa Park faces a significant obstacle this weekend in the form of Tottenham Hotspur.
Ã¢ÂÂI like what AVB has done at Spurs,Ã¢ÂÂ said Lambert, in response to questions about his opposite number. Ã¢ÂÂThey keep their shape, DefoeÃ¢ÂÂs on fire, and Jan / Vertonghen looks a signing and a half.Ã¢ÂÂ
Ã¢ÂÂThe Lane is not an easy place to come,Ã¢ÂÂ he continued. Ã¢ÂÂBut football's eleven v eleven / And all our lads will fight for every ball. / I think that anyone who writes us off / Before a ball is kicked will eat their words.Ã¢ÂÂ
Journalists were keen to quiz Lambert over his alleged falling-out with star striker Darren Bent, after the England hitman was dropped for VillaÃ¢ÂÂs last match against West Brom. But the 43-year old Lambert denied that his relationship with the player was strained.
"If you don't like that, I've got a good one about a man from Nantucket"
Ã¢ÂÂItÃ¢ÂÂs simple: every player wants to play / But I thought Benteke deserved a chance / to show what he could do against West Brom. / The kid did well, and I was also pleased / with DarrenÃ¢ÂÂs contribution from the bench.Ã¢ÂÂ
Sources inside the Aston Villa dressing room say that the playing staff are pleased at the new direction the club is taking under Lambert.
Ã¢ÂÂIf [former manager] Alex McLeish spoke in verse at all, it was in terse, half-rhyming couplets,Ã¢ÂÂ young winger Marc Albrighton told FourFourTwo.com. Ã¢ÂÂBut it never sounded natural. Some people tried to claim that he gave interviews in freeform blank verse, but the lads know poetry when they hear it, and McLeish just gave us rambling nonsense.Ã¢ÂÂ
Ã¢ÂÂPaul Lambert gives us art.Ã¢ÂÂ
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
More from Back of the Net
Uefa to sex-up Europa with 'dramatic storylines' and 'mental stunts'
Arsenal defend decision to send Diaby and Wilshere bear-wrestling
Dawson tight-lipped on future, hints climate change could kill millions
'Now a great time to panic' says Gerrard
John Terry inspires teammates by giving up
Adkins admits to 'worst possible start' while fleeing angry dog