BotN: QPR told they have to sign Julio Cesar before they can transfer list him

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The West London club are busily trying to overhaul their overhauled squad before the close of the transfer window, as Back of the Net's John Foster explains...

QPR were dealt a blow this week when they were told by the FA that it is not possible to transfer-list a player who has not yet signed for the club, as the manic spendthrifts intensified their search for a goalkeeper to replace new signing Rob Green's replacement, Julio Cesar.

The experienced Brazil international looks set to be shipped in and immediately out again by the Loftus Road moneybags, after they failed to sell Newcastle keeper Tim Krul to Chelsea. The club also revealed that they are still hoping to sign free agent Artur Boruc, immediately release him again, and then possibly then sign him a for second time.

Speaking to, manager Mark Hughes paid tribute to the former Inter No.1.

“Julio’s a top player and I’m looking forward to him arriving,” Hughes said. “At his age, he wants first-team football, so it’s probably best that he moves on.”

“I’d like to thank him for all he contributed to the club during his time here, and I’ll tell him so personally when I meet him for the first time tomorrow.”

"Errrm, Robert, you've not got Shay Given's number, have you?"

Sporting director Amit Bhatia took time out from promoting QPR’s newly-released 2013/14 season highlights DVD to defend the club’s rapid turnover of playing staff.

“Anyone who says our transfer policy looks like it’s been cooked up in a playpen by a bunch of football-hating ADHD toddlers who’ve just consumed half a ton of sugar—” began Bhatia. “Oh wow, a moth! Look at the moth! Oh god, someone shoo it off our sugar.”

In another blow for the West London outfit, they have been told by the bank that, for epistemological reasons, it is not possible to mortgage the contents of the club’s trophy cabinet.

Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.

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