Introducing Charlie Bullet, God’s Brazilian buddy

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Italians all around the world are surely praying to God for a win against the French today. In this particular case, I wouldn’t trust such an important request to the Pope – the man is German and he’ll probably ask for a Romania win to see the two foes knocked out. 

But there’s no need to worry. Truth is, if you want God to really listen to your pleas your wingman is Brazilian diminute striker Carlinhos Bala – Charlie Bullet in English. Last week, the Almighty talked to our 1.62m, 64kg Sport Recife ace at least twice.

At least that’s the story the player gave before the second leg of the Copa do Brasil final against Corinthians on Wednesday. Underdog Sport needed a 2-0 home win to clinch the title against the São Paulo giants, who had won the first leg 3-1.

Carlinhos Bala, however, knew what would happen in advance thanks to the divine messages he swore to have received from the Lord. “I went to Church to ask Him to give us the title. God said He would do it. I’m going to bed relaxed today. Why should I lose some sleep if God promised me the title?,” he asked on the eve of the final.

Fellow countryman Kaka doesn't belong to AC Milan... 

The next day, around lunchtime, the man upstairs showed up again just in case the player had missed the first dispatch. “I was driving to the stadium. When I stopped at a traffic light, God talked to me again. He repeated that He would give the title to us.”

Later on, the Almighty kept his promise. Sport won 2-0, with Carlinhos Bala netting the opener, handing them the Copa do Brasil trophy on away goals. “Now I’m going to Church on Sunday to thank Him for the title,” announced the blessed striker.

With such intimacy with the eternal one, I guess he could have done it while brushing his teeth. Or at the barbershop, while adjusting his weird hairdo – which earned him the nickname Pineapple Head. Truth is cherub-sized Carlinhos Bala seems to be God’s contact on Earth.

I would post Bala’s mobile phone number on here for any interested parties, but I’m afraid I also have a request to God myself. Tomorrow there’s Brazil and Argentina going head-to-head in World Cup qualifying action.

And I guess God would be better focusing on just the one match at a time.