Villa makes mistake of visiting Madrid
Ã¢ÂÂValdano negotiates with Villa!Ã¢ÂÂ yells Marca. Ã¢ÂÂVilla takes a walk to Madrid!Ã¢ÂÂ screams AS. Ã¢ÂÂOver my dead body!Ã¢ÂÂ splutters RaÃÂºl.
Those were WednesdayÃ¢ÂÂs headlines that greeted the appearance of David Villa in the streets of the Spanish capital the day before - an appearance that had him pestered and probed by stalking hacks and photographers.
The Valencia striker was seen with his wife (face blurred by AS, but not Marca) strolling hand-in-hand through the sunny streets!
The Valencia striker was seen near the Santiago Bernabeu!
The Valencia striker was in town to Ã¢ÂÂbuy a suit for my brother-in-lawÃ¢ÂÂs wedding,Ã¢ÂÂ explained the man himself.
Ã¢ÂÂDoesnÃ¢ÂÂt matter!Ã¢ÂÂ was the answer from the Madridista press desperately hoping that at least one of their Ribery, Ronaldo, KakÃÂ¡, Silva, Zlatan, Villa, Wenger, Mourinho, Ancelotti stories comes true over the summer.
"I knew I should have just ordered online..."
If the photographers are out sleazing on the streets once again on Wednesday, they will be snapping a pitiful posse heading into a court room to answer accusations that they were involved with Ã¢ÂÂthe destruction, suppression and hiding of public documentsÃ¢ÂÂ in relation to Real MadridÃ¢ÂÂs controversial AGM held last December.
The group will be headed by RamÃÂ³n CalderÃÂ³n and - embarrassingly for Marca, who merely mumble his name in connection with the alleged crime - current Real Madrid president, Vicente Boluda.
This has meant the paper has had to tone down their Ã¢ÂÂworst president in the clubÃ¢ÂÂs history" tantrum a tad, considering that Boluda, as CalderÃÂ³nÃ¢ÂÂs No.2, may have had some influence during his tenure.
Marca have some exciting transfer news for AtlÃÂ©tico fans, fans that will be hoping their potential new player is of the calibre of recent arrivals such as Seitaridis, Heitinga, Cleber Santana, AssunÃÂ§ao, Reyes, Pernia, Maniche and Luis GarcÃÂa.
According to the paper, the club are sniffing around Udinese midfielder Gaetano DÃ¢ÂÂAgostino, a footballer who Ã¢ÂÂhas had many appearances for the Italian U21 side.Ã¢ÂÂ
Very promising indeed, thought La Liga Loca until it saw that DÃ¢ÂÂAgostino was 26, making him a sensational starlet some six years ago and Serie AÃ¢ÂÂs equivalent of David Dunn.
Still, the ItalianÃ¢ÂÂs Wikipedia page reports that his favourite animals are horses, so he will at least be partly prepared to spend the next few seasons alongside a bunch of donkeys.
Over in Catalunya, the local Barca-barmy dailies are all in a tizz over next weekÃ¢ÂÂs Champions League 3-0 mauling by Manchester United, despite the fact that it is still seven days away.
SportÃ¢ÂÂs headline fails to grasp the concept of superlatives by claiming that the Roma battle will be Ã¢ÂÂthe best against the best.Ã¢ÂÂ
While Mundo Deportivo have a devilish tale suggesting Gerard Pique will be the Ã¢ÂÂanti-CristianoÃ¢ÂÂ continuing the assumption in the Spanish press that Manchester United have a team consisting of just one player.
"Leave him with me, boss..."
At this point, the blog must end on a melancholy note with the news that SevillaÃ¢ÂÂs Javi Navarro has hung up his hairband and announced his retirement after a lengthy spell on the sidelines with a giant knee knack.
The central defender played a key role for Sevilla during their five trophy, two season spell and recalled at a press conference on Tuesday that his Ã¢ÂÂbest moment was seeing children and grandparents crying when we picked up our first trophy.Ã¢ÂÂ
In a fine career, Navarro has certainly left his mark on the city of Seville, the game in Spain and Juan ArangoÃ¢ÂÂs skull.