West Bromwich Albion found to be a front organisation
Odd goings-on going on in the Midlands... Back of the Net's Paul Watson has the scoop...
A lengthy undercover operation commissioned by Back of the Net has revealed that West Bromwich Albion is nothing more than a front organisation used to siphon off points to other legitimate teams.
The news is expected to rock the world of football with many of BritainÃ¢ÂÂs top teams having openly contested matches against the West Midlands points laundering outfit in recent times.
Ã¢ÂÂOur suspicions were raised by the fact that West Bromwich isnÃ¢ÂÂt a real place you get,Ã¢ÂÂ explained the undercover agent who led the sting.
Ã¢ÂÂWe dug a little deeper and found that The Hawthorns wasnÃ¢ÂÂt a realistic name for a stadium and nobody could quite explain why people always refer to them as The Baggies.Ã¢ÂÂ
Every season anything between 60 and 80 points leave Ã¢ÂÂWest BromÃ¢ÂÂ bound for the Premier LeagueÃ¢ÂÂs top teams via a complex system of arranged meetings at football grounds around the country.
A matter of hours after a resounding 4-0 Ã¢ÂÂdefeatÃ¢ÂÂ against Manchester City, events at the Etihad Stadium take on an altogether more sinister complexion.
Ã¢ÂÂIt was all suddenly so clear,Ã¢ÂÂ Back of the NetÃ¢ÂÂs inside man continued. Ã¢ÂÂI looked over at Hodgson and just saw a powerless puppet; a really blocked up, sniffy puppet.
Ã¢ÂÂAt 3-0 down, rather than trying to re-jig things tactically you could hear [Roy] Hodgson threatening Paul Scharner. It was all stuff like Ã¢ÂÂdonÃ¢ÂÂt break my balls on this,Ã¢ÂÂ Ã¢ÂÂthereÃ¢ÂÂs plenty of ways for a utility man like you to go missingÃ¢ÂÂ and Ã¢ÂÂyou donÃ¢ÂÂt want to end up with Boaz Myhill.Ã¢ÂÂÃ¢ÂÂ
The dramatic climax of the investigation saw a West Brom representative offer Back of the NetÃ¢ÂÂs reporter three points if he could assemble 11 men and teach them to take a set piece.
As we go to press, Baggie Bird remains wanted by Interpol for three charges of racketeering.
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.